9/11

I cannot believe that it is five years since this happened. I am sure to the people who lost loved ones, it seems far longer than that.

I still remember distinctly what I was doing when I heard. Princess was 11 months old and had just woken up wanting to nurse. I had just sat down with her in her room and lifted up my PJ top when the phone rang. I wondered who on earth would be calling at 6 am!!! It was my friend from NC screaming hysterically, telling me to turn on the TV and watch the news, some plane had crashed into a building in NYC.

I don't remember what I did with the hungry Princess, but I woke Stud up and he came out and turned on the TV. I was still on the phone with my friend M. About a minute after he turned it on, the second plane hit the tower. I just COULD NOT believe that it was really happening, as I am sure everyone else felt. That is when it all kind of clicked and I was thinking, "Oh man, this is purposeful! Someone is doing this on purpose!!!" It had not even registered what the people on the TV were saying. I don't remember if anyone was even SAYING anything. I think M and I were screaming a little or something. Well, I know SHE was, I think I was just numb. Stud says I was freaked out, but he doesn't remember me screaming. I have never been a screamer.

I said to Stud that the towers were going to fall. Poor guy, he was in denial. He just kept saying, "They'll be fine. They'll be fine. People will get out ok!" like he thought repeating it would make it happen that way or something. I said a few times, "No, they will collapse, people need to get out now!" I remember scrunching my eyes shut, cause I didn't wanna watch. And I was praying and praying that as many people would get out as possible. Then we started seeing the people jumping from the windows and I just kinda blocked it all out. I do that sometimes when I don't want to face something. I know everyone does that sometimes. The brain is truly amazing. In fact, I forgot about that altogether until I am just now recalling any of this to write it in here. For weeks after, I would go to sleep crying for the families and praying that some in the rubble had somehow found water and could hold on until they were found. I knew they could do without food, but I was praying and hoping that they would get water and that the rescuers would do ok, not get hurt or killed themselves and get rest and food, etc.

I remember wondering if we should wake Brain and Jock up, and let them know what was happening, so they would remember for the years to come, when they learned of it. I think we let them sleep and then I told them later that day. I really don't remember much except that we didn't do any school work but we watched some of the news. I don't hardly ever turn on the TV and really never watch news. But the TV was on pretty much all day that day and a few days after that.

Since they are at school right now (which is still incredibly hard to get used to) I can't just go talk to them when I want to ask them something. It will have to wait. I wonder what all they remember from that day, if anything. Brain was 8, almost 9 and Jock would have just turned 5, so it will be interesting to know what, if anything, they remember.

I certainly hope all of the families who were impacted by this are recovering alright and doing better.