Update on the feminine health nonsense.
Apparently I have an ovarian cyst. I am going to talk with him more about it soon. I have had those before and this feels and seems very different. So maybe there will be an update on that soon.
On the ADD front, it is looking more and more like I was correct and I do have some form of it. My counselor directed me toward a site that has tests a person can do to check on various brain...things. So she wanted me to take the one about ADD and have Stud take it as best he can in regards to ME and how I communicate, etc. He did so and the results he got were very similar to what I got for me. I found that interesting. It says it is "highly probable" that I have "ADD Inattentive Type" and the same for "Limbic System Hyperactivity".
We are thinking Jock may have a form also! It would explain A LOT. My mom said I always had the tendency to never accept responsibility for things and was constantly blaming other people, giving out advice that was not sought, and generally sticking my nose where it did not belong. I am not as bad for that now as an adult, but Jock is just TERRIBLE for that type of behaviour.
One example is last night he put some cookies in the oven. I was doing various things with other kids and was downstairs for a while, when I caught a whiff of burning cookies. Which annoyed me because about 5 minutes prior to that, I had come up to check them and saw that they needed a bit more time. I said something to Jock about being sure to keep an eye on them and he waved me off like "Yeah yeah!" and had some music blasting in the stereo. Which is in the Living Room. Which is right around the corner from the kitchen. Very simple to pause the music and go into the kitchen to check on his project.
So I came upstairs and saw that the cookies were BLACK and smoking and non edible. I took them out of the oven and went looking for him. He was still in the LR, banging his head to this loud music, oblivious to what was happening so close to him. There is no way he would have heard the timer go off. I wondered why it was set in the first place, only to turn on very loud music so it could not be heard. I was sure that Stud had been kind of helping Jock and thought that maybe he could have reminded him, or helped in some way.
When I said something to Jock, he immediately blamed his father and started saying how his Dad was supposed to help him or remind him or something. I pointed out that I had reminded and he had given me attitude. I got more attitude and more bad-mouthing of his father. I told him to clean up the mess, think before he spoke and went to look for Stud.
I found him where I thought I would, down in his office on the computer. He said that he had left Jock totally in control and had reminded him as he was putting the cookies in the oven, "You wanted to make those, so you need to keep watching them, set the timer and listen closely for it." *sigh*
Just one small example. Jock TRULY believes that it was Stud's fault?? When Stud and everyone else was downstairs and Jock was about 10 feet away from the oven the entire time?? It is constant, every day, that he does things like that. I don't mind the issue so much as the reaction and blaming that follows. I mean, just say "OH MAN! I totally forgot! Sorry, I will clean it up." Or something along those lines. He went on and on about his Dad "sitting on his butt" and was very rude and disrespectful. I was almost falling for it and going to go be annoyed at Stud when I told myself, "Wait. This is Jock talking. I am sure Stud was not involved in any way." The reason I thought he might is that he often won't allow Jock to do things like that and I thought maybe he said he could only do it if Stud was there to supervise. Turns out that was not the case at all.
I find myself aware of doing (or at least thinking) similar things and then catch myself. I have to remind myself "Wait a minute. That was NO one's fault but my own, what am I doing??" When we did the ADD thing, that was some of the points brought up in the test. Fascinating to me!!!
I will close with a picture of my four darling angels taken down at the local beach last week.
4 comments:
From my understanding, we all have cysts on our ovaries but when they become enflamed (not sure if that's the right word) they become a problem. I hope it's something that is FIXABLE!!! And I hope the root canal went smoothly!! I have one on my horizon too... I can relate to the 'falling apart' sentiment.
if you are all aware of the ADD thing then thats a good start in dealing and living with it, family arguments are stressful though, your kids all look happy and healthy on the beach there.
hope all your dentist stuff went ok, I used to work as a dental-nurse and I wasn't known for my sympathetic manner(poor patients!!)but it was a laugh sometimes.
That picture of your kids is adorable!
I am wondering how being sandwiched by Brain and a younger version of Brain would impact personality development. Could it be possible that Jock really, really has a hard time with dissappointing you and your husband to the point that he just can't allow himself to take responsibility? It could have to do with parental expectations, but it could also have to do with his expectations on himself - or a combination of both. He could just feel kind of insecure and uncertain of his own strengths and talents intellectually because of his own comparisons to his brothers. Just some thoughts. What was it you said about butting into other people's business?
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