By this summer, she wasn't sure who anyone was and was pretty confused and in a nursing home. Stud didn't take the kids to see her this summer when they were down, because it would have been too hard for him and too hard on the kids, not understanding and seeing her that way. We just wanted them to remember her when she was more aware. I understand completely how Stud felt, it was the exact same with my own father's mother. I saw her once when she was senile and it was too hard and sad to be around her like that. Her kids all went to see her often and were so good with her. Same with Stud's Dad and his siblings.
I was just craving some of her amazing chocolate pound cake the other day. I can't stand cake, and aside from angel food cake and her Chocolate pound cake, I won't eat any. But that cake of her's....MMmmmmmm, that stuff was fabulous! She would make Stud her chocolate pies, he loved those! Our kids always adored her, even though they rarely got to spend any time with her. I am so glad they have the memories that they do. I am glad that we went down there for Christmas 2004 instead of going to Canada to be with my family. She was in failing health then and I was worried she would be gone at that time and I wanted the younger two to form some memories with her. Brain and Jock had memories from the three years they had lived there. The only downfall to going then was that it we missed my brother's last Christmas. Little did we know, you know?? The plan had been to be at my family's, but I just thought we needed to be with Stud's Grandma and then last year we would be with my family again. So that is what happened, only of course, my brother was not there:(
We told the kids this afternoon. They are sad, but all of them said like we did, at least she is now with her husband and various other of our loved ones. She is not feeling sick and weak anymore. They even commented on how we have been expecting this and it is easier. Whereas, when Davy died, it was so sudden and unexpected and that made things way worse. We agreed with their observations.
Today the public school kids stayed home from school and I took them to this really fun place our HSed friends go to a few times a month. It was also Book Report Lunch and I wanted them to be able to do that. So we went to this place full of inflatables and had a blast! Brain was reading to the younger two on the way and was very hesitant of putting the book down and joining the other kids. We finally convinced him and he had a great time until the woman running the place told him to take his glasses off. He is close to blind without them and was too scared to be climbing and doing all of this without them on, so he went to read again.
I was racing Jock and Clown and Brain through these obstacle courses they have. Man, that is a WORK OUT! I don't feel so bad that I didn't make it to work out at curves today! It was so fun, and Brain is FAST. Jock was kind of annoyed, Brain beat him EVERY TIME! LOL
At one point, I couldn't find Princess. I was asking other mothers and kids, all my boys, etc. No one had seen her. I was just about to really freak out when I went to check this one huge inflatable thing in the corner that I had not looked in yet. As I was walking over to it, this is what I saw:
How HEARTBREAKING is that!??!? She had been in there, stuck and unable to climb out from either side of the section she slid into. She said she had been calling me and calling me:( POOR THING! I felt horrible. I got in with her and hugged and kissed her all over. I explained that I had been looking and looking. I got her calmed down and then we agreed that I could shove her through the part she was struggling with. Once I did that, I couldn't get MYSELF over! Teehee. I asked her to run and get Brain to come and help me. While she was doing that, I got myself up and over on my own somehow. She later got it all figured out and learned the trick of what she needed to do. It is so slippery in there! We had SUCH FUN! None of the other mothers went in there, I can't understand.
Once Princess recovered, she looked like this:
Then we were off to Book Report Lunch at the Pizza Place. Jock and Brain both went up to the front and shared something. Jock had thrown together a little something to share about hockey and brought his skates and one of his sticks. Brain went up there and told three things and then the people were supposed to guess which one of the things was true. It was neat, there was a thread of truth to all of the things he told about. He went into detail, but the three things were basically:
My 13 year old Uncle died last summer.
I had GERD and needed surgery this past February.
I have a skin condition and I could have died from it if we stayed living in SC.
Most of the people guessed right, but the new people who don't know us well and don't know about his illnesses, would have no way of knowing if any of what he told was exaggerated and embellished. It was interesting for sure!
Lots more to share, but Princess wants me to play something with her and her Twinn doll. Hope everyone is doing well!
6 comments:
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Even when it's "their time" and they've lived a long, full life, it isn't easy. Don't ever second-guess yourself about that Christmas. I firmly believe that there is a reason you went south. We may not know that reason now, but there definitely is one.
Take care.
So sorry to hear about Stud's grandmother. The funny thing about death is that no matter how many times you've lost someone, you hurt just as much the next time. And it never gets easier to deal with or to the point where you just know what to do. I'm thinking of you and your family. And thank goodness you and Stud seem to have done a great job in giving your kids a healthy perspective on death...that they recognize she's in a good place and with other loved ones - that's something!
C- No, he can't go down. The tickets are too much and he didn't go when his maternal grandfather passed a few years back, so felt bad about going this time.
Actually, when I found Princess, I climbed in and comforted her and THEN she got worked up again. I asked if I could take a picture of her and she started just wailing at the whole thought of how traumatic it had been. When I found her, she looked that way, but I got in and held her for a while first. I was almost crying, the poor thing was SO FREAKED OUT! Then she told me about a lady who had held her hand out for her to step onto so she could reach easier and get over the one side. She was all excited and got in there and saw that the lady wasn't standing out there by the side anymore. Come to find out, it was an attendant who works there who had helped her. Anyway, in the describing everything to me again, me holding back tears and kissing her all over and then asking to take a picture, she collapsed against the side and commenced the wailing again. Heartbreaking, ain't it?? Poor kid!
LM- Thanks. My kids make me feel bad sometimes, without meaning to. Brain especially. The notion that *I* of all people kept him from his beloved Canada and my side of the family BY CHOICE, just baffles him. He seldom mentions the missing Davy's last Christmas thing, so I am grateful for that. Part of why I know we were supposed to be there was because Stud's UNcle passed suddenly at a very young age that Boxing Day. That is a story in itself. I know we were supposed to be there for that. It would have been horrible to be stuck up here and find that out. We spent Christmas Eve with him, I spoke with him, he commented on how sweet and cute the kids were (It had been four years since he had seen any of them) and we had a great visit. I am thankful for that.
L- Yes, thanks. Sure is hard. I haven't broken down yet, but I have teared up many times. I have many memories and am so glad that I took the time to send her a special plate made with a photo of her and our four kids taken that last time we saw her. I sent it and got reports back that she loved it. This was when she was still aware of everything and living at her house. I am terrible for taking the time to keep in touch with family and would have never forgiven myself if I had not gotten that taken care of. I have enough regrets as it is. She adored all her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
I hope we are doing an ok job with the kids!:)
Happy- Thanks. Yes, we had a wonderful day. I was pleased that Brain went ahead and joined us. We are raving about the place to Stud, and he says he will try and come soon!
Sorry to hear about Stud's Grandma. Sometimes death is indeed a blessing, though it's never easy.
Don't beat yourself up about not keeping in touch as frequently as you think you should have. We all do the best we can, and that doesn't mean that to do your best you always have to put forth an extraordinary effort in each and every thing. Focus on the fact that you all have good memories of her and share those. Your family is in my thoughts.
Vince- Thanks. Yes, very true.
L- Thanks! I try not to. We all have regrets. I just used to be one of those people who sent thoughtful notes and gifts just because. I think of people all the time, but never call or write. I just hope she knew how I felt about her. I told her when I saw her, so that is one good thing. And then the plate with the pic of her and the kids...maybe I will find that photo and post it on my blog. It was so sweet:)
Post a Comment