Fibroid Tumors

Yup.


Apparently, I got 'em.

I have an ultrasound this coming Monday, to see how many, how big and confirm that is what is in the ole uterus. I am sure it is, though. Not sure why that never occurred to me. I was thinking possibly colon cancer or something, since my Dad has that. I keep forgetting to get checked and junk, so I wondered. I knew SOMETHING was growing in there and in the way. The past few days it has gotten REALLY uncomfy. It is painful and annoying to sit down, feels like something is totally in the way. It has been driving me nuts since October or so, but got just very distracting and annoying this week.

I have gone to the Doc 3-4 times since January and she kept on telling me it was yeast infections. Just kept giving me meds. Spent over $100 on meds, matter of fact. Obviously I had that also, but you would think she would have found this out, as easily as the guy I went to yesterday did. I kept on telling her there was pressure and it felt like an early pregnancy. Well, NO WONDER! LOL I am hoping for a 10 pounder! teehee

So that is going on. Be nice to find out how they plan on getting those (or it, but I picture many) out of there. Stud and I read up on it and SO MANY women have these things and don't even know it. Well, I clearly know it, so they better not dilly dally around and act like a bunch of pills will shrink them (or it) or something. I don't want to do that. I am hoping they will get in there and get them (it) out of there!





Feel the need to post a few pics I snapped of me babes from last night and then I will sign off. On our way to Science class and may need to go to a museum or the zoo after that. Memberships are due to expire soon. Also need to buy curtain rods and curtains for Clown and Jock's room. We are redoing it and it is almost done. Will post before/after pics soon.




Brain was still eating when I started snapping of the others. If dude is going to eat, we don't try to stop him or distract him, you know what I am saying??? So I took individual ones of the other three, and ones of them together, etc.



Then Brain came in, and right as I was starting off with some of he and Clown, my friend Q called and I stopped to talk to her and never got back to it. I wanted some of all of them together and stuff. Will do that soon. Brain's hair has never been this long before. I love to see all the curls come out!

Have a great weekend!

First Migraine

Last night I wrote that post about grieving, etc. I did not have the energy to tell something else that had happened earlier. I am amazed that I had the energy to even write what I did!

After the counseling session yesterday, we stopped at the grocery store for a few things to add to the chili I was making. When we were driving in to the parking lot, I was suddenly having trouble seeing. It was like when you look at a bright light and then a big spot of brightness stays there for a while. I hate when that happens!

This time was different though. Also, pretty much immediately, my head started hurting pretty bad. Just in the front, right in the middle of my forehead. When we were trying to purchase things, I could only see things to the far right, or far left. I was wanting to buy Romaine Lettuce and was amazed that it was only $0.49. Jock was there and looked at me strangely and said, "Mom...it is $1.49." I looked over to the left and could see the "$1" but that was all I saw. It was not connected to anything. The pain was getting worse and we rushed home.

I ended up struggling to stay awake and went to bed at 4. I asked Brain to watch everyone and be sure to finish the one chore I needed him to do. The next thing I knew, Stud was in our bedroom asking what was going on and what should he do to help with supper. It was 6:30.

I asked him to boil some rice to have with the chili and I eventually got up when he called us to the table. My head was still hurting off and on, but my sight was fine.


Brain said that they had all talked to me when I was asleep and that I had even gone to the bathroom once! I have no memory of any of that. He said that Clown asked if he could go outside and I said "No!" very firmly. So they all thought I was awake and came in to talk to me.

I was telling my friend about it today. She is a nurse. She told me that it was a certain kind of migraine. I always thought they were incredibly painful, it never occurred to me that is what it could be. I had not taken anything at all, it was not that bad. It just wore me out and I could not stay awake.

On top of all that, I have diagnosed myself with ADD. LOL I will ask my Doc, when I go to her soon. It all makes sense, though. I went to a web site and was reading about it and I am pretty certain that I have it. Everything makes sense now. Why I go off on tangents when I talk. Why I have always started something and it seldom gets finished and I go on to something else. Why there is clutter all over my house and I am overwhelmed with everything. Why I snap at my kids and people always say, "Relax, Laura. Take a deep breath." Why I was in trouble at school and could not focus or remember anything. Why I STILL can't remember anything. Fascinating, really.

Ok, need to get to bed so I can get up and walk some more. I love to walk early in the morning. Stud has talked of maybe starting to get up and go with me. That would be neat!

Grief

Today the three younger kids and I were in the kitchen doing something they enjoy sometimes. They like to decipher the strange words that I use for various people/animals.

Let's go back in history a bit to make more sense of this. One of my brothers and I have always had a way of speaking/writing to each other. Kind of a baby talk thing, if you will. I took that further and have always had an odd compulsion to turn names into...I don't know what to call it. Nonsense sounds. That then evolve into nicknames. Started when I was a kid, sitting in the barnyard with my beloved animals. It appears to happen when I feel a great deal of love and affection toward something/someone. I had these funky names for a few dogs and cats and then have had ones for my kids. I have no control over it, it just comes out when I am near whoever it is.


The only other person I have had one for is my baby brother. Not my husband, other brothers, nieces, nephew, anyone. I am and always have been VERY close to my nieces and nephew. We have a tight bond, so it is odd that I don't have any of these nonsense word nicknames for them. I think I may have for a few of my foster siblings, but I can't recall. It appears to have to be someone that I spend a good deal of time with. Although, I spent a lot of time with my oldest niece and my nephew when they were babies/toddlers. I did NOT spend much time with my baby brother since he entered the family and was adopted after I was married and left home. So maybe that theory is not correct.


Regardless, today Princess noticed a photo on the fridge of one of the cats Stud and I had before we had any kids. She asked her name, etc. I said the freaky name I had for her and one of the boys overheard and came running and wanted to guess the "real name".

We went through the names of various pets I had owned as a kid and the boys (Clown and Jock) got every one of them right. Pathetically, they were beaming with pride and seemed to want to teach them to their little sister. She has heard them before, but any second language is hard to master! LOL So I asked if they knew what I had called David. Jock and Clown got quiet and then Jock said it (or tried to. Lots of times certain syllables go high pitched) and I said that was right. There was an awkward silence, because the boys don't like us to mention Davy. I don't even know where that came from or why I asked them that.

Princess said "Mum, can I talk to you in my room??" Of course we went in and I knew what she was going to do. We sat on her bed and she crawled in my lap and started sobbing. She said how she thinks about him all the time and keeps on talking to him and asking him to come back. Especially if she is alone. She said anytime she is alone, the first thing she thinks is how now she will talk to Davy. She said she begs God to bring him back, even though she knows God won't and that He took him for a reason. She said that she cries all the time and usually goes in her room and under her bed to cry by herself because she does not want her brothers to get mad at her. I am the only one she will cry around, because I don't get mad about it and I cry also.

Then she said something very interesting. She said, "Do you think we get more upset at each other and the boys are madder because Davy died?? It seems like they get more mad at me and are a lot meaner since he died."

I was floored. I had not noticed that but found it very interesting that this was her perspective. We had an appointment with their counselor right after lunch and I was planning on only taking Jock. I asked her if she needed to talk to Dr. B about this and she said yes. So she came along also.

It ended up being a crying session for ME! LOL I have not talked to anyone really since my brother died. I mean, the first few months, I would sit on the phone with my parents and we talked and sobbed. The first few times I called home was horrible. Not only because they were in such pain, but because normally when I called home, I would talk to my precious little brother. It was just WRONG to call and talk to them and not hear him making his precious sounds in the background. He was supposed to be letting Mom or Dad know that he wanted to talk to me so I could ask him about his day or whatever. I don't know what stage of grief I am in now, but I have not even talked to any of them (except I guess one brother, right R??. Oh, maybe I have talked to you, eh, S??) in over a month. I want to talk to my parents but...they remind me of Davy. They had such a tight bond that...talking to them makes me miss him even more. Which is not fair to them, I need to call them soon. I just get in such funks that I don't feel like talking to anyone or being around anyone.


Anyway, we talked about him for about 45 minutes. Dr. B pointed out to Princess that maybe her brothers get annoyed because she cries a lot or cries over things that aren't that important. So then when she is crying about Davy, they don't realise it right away. We tried to make her see that if she would not scream and cry so much, her brothers would have more patience with her.


It was kind of funny, she actually determined this on her own. Dr. B asked her why she thinks her brothers get upset when she cries and she did not even hesitate. She just said "Because I get really upset and scream and yell at them and cry all the time. They hurt my feelings a lot, so I need to cry about it." So we are working on her calmly coming to me to talk about things or trying to discuss things with them before she freaks and gets them all worked up. Another reason they get upset is when they know she is crying about Davy, they immediately want to protect themselves and don't want to go there. Easiest way is to act annoyed. They don't actually SAY anything to her, but she knows by their body language and faces that they don't want anything to do with it. So she just goes away from them or comes to get me. I have learned that also. The first few months after he died, I was pretty much in tears constantly. They got really upset and would tell me to stop. So I am better at hiding it also. I guess part of me wants to protect them too. If they are all happy and going along enjoying their day, why should I bring them down???

Princess said something today in the counseling session that I did not know about until then. She said this past Sunday, when my friend J was watching them while Stud and I went out, that she cried for Davy. They were in the Rec room talking about him and then she asked if she could go to her room. J said yes, so she went and crawled under her bed and cried for her Uncle. I can't stand the idea of her being alone and hurting like that. I told her J would have understood and cuddled her and she said she knew, but needed to be alone. Which I can understand of course. It still makes me sad to think of her that way. I asked her later how Davy came up as a topic and she said "Because I started talking about him. I told J how I loved him and how I wish he was back and that he did not die."

My parents sent me some books about kids and grieving and I need to get my act together and read them. The kids know they can talk about him if they need to. I make that clear. Maybe there is more I need to be doing, though.

Oh, another thing that got me crying was Dr. B asked Princess who she thinks misses D the most. I thought she meant amoung she and her brothers. Princess did not hesitate. She looked up at me and put her little arm around me, started stroking my arm and said "My mummy. She misses him the most out of us." I told Dr. B about all the other family, who got to see him all the time and my oldest brother's kids who grew up with him and they were like siblings. They all really miss him and are struggling, I know. I said how S wrote the eulogy and obit. and how B delivered the eulogy and how I was with R when we found out and how he told me. I have tried to avoid thinking about that, because it is so traumatic. I remember him shaking and grabbing me and saying those horrible words and then I just remember darkness. It was like I was falling backwards into a dark hole. I said how I gave such guilt about how I told S. I was HYSTERICAL and could hardly talk or get any air and I just was screaming on the phone even though I had told myself I would be calm because he was all alone and had so far to go to get to any of us. I told her about my Dad finding Davy in his bed that morning. For a long time I could not get the picture of my parents climbing into bed with their 13 year old son's body and just crying and hanging onto each other out of my mind. I could tell she was trying not to cry. She is so sweet, I am glad we can go talk to her. I guess I needed to talk about him a bit. Also writing in here sometimes is kind of healing or something. Who knows. There is much more coming, I am sure. I need some kind of outlet. If I talk about him to anyone, I cry too much. This way, I sit by myself and cry as I type. Easier somehow.

So there you have it. My poor baby girl. I need to work on the kids letting her grieve when she needs to. My brothers could be very mean to me, but I know they would allow me to cry and grieve for someone. My baby girl deserves that too.

So there you are, maybe something more up beat will be posted soon. I was just amazed at her thinking everyone is mad since he died. Hopefully we can fix that. Amazing how looking at a picture of a kitten on the fridge can lead to all of this.

Girls talk too much

Apparently this is some news that Jock has shared with Stud.

DORK!!! HE talks more than the other three kids combined! Stud and I went out yesterday and at one point (likely when I was yapping a mile a minute and this is what made him think of it! LOL) he chuckled and shared this with me. One day when he was taking Jock to work with him, Jock commented how he liked riding with his Dad in the car, as opposed to all of us in the van, because it is quieter.

DUH! That is because HE is not yapping. LOL


I am trying to listen to music and he talks. I shut it off so that I can hear him and I comment, etc. Then I ask if he would like to talk, or should we have music?? No no, music is fine, he assures me. Back on. Within a minute - "Oh, just one more thing, Mum." On it goes for the duration of the trip. Many times I just don't even bother with music. It seems THOSE are the times he has nothing to say.

Yet apparently his sister and I talk too much!?!?! He never SAID this, but he certainly implied it in the comment he made to his Dad.

Stud and I went out yesterday and had a lovely time. We went to Starbucks and then went for a short walk on a trail called...I can't recall. Something about Japanese something. It was pretty wet, so we left and went to Home Depot to see what new kitchen faucet and dishwasher we may purchase with the tax return money. That was very fun!

Then it was off to see "The Inside Man" with Clive Owen (I list him first as he is the best looking guy EVER, or at least one of them) Denzel Washington (also HOT) and then Jodie Foster or some such woman. Who knows. Whatever. But it was really pretty good.

We also made time to go eat at P.F. Changs. YUM. We have been wanting to have a meal there for some time, and the last time we went out, we tried. The wait was an hour and a half! Last night it was only 10 minutes and was still packed. It was very yummy, we shall certainly go back.

Just wanted to add a quick something. Clown and I are off to play Stratego while Jock and Brain do their math lessons on the computers and Princess...well, I guess she can watch. She actually played me last week and creamed me. *sigh* FIVE years old, second time playing the game and the girl slaughtered me. She actually knows what she is doing, puts a lot of thought into each move and takes her time. Pretty impressive, I thought.

Peace Out.

They seem to be better!

Woot!

My kids are better. Poor Jock missed his pizza party on Friday night. Somehow he managed to gather the energy to play in a 3 on 3 thing they had yesterday morning after awards.




Clown and Brain did not want to go, but Princess wanted to jump in the "jumpy things". So we dragged her and ended up being there from 11-3:30 or so. She was bored to tears, as was I. Jock was bored later when Stud was playing a coaches game. I kept on telling him to go play with his friends, but he didn't have any energy left. He just wanted to go home and sleep.

Jock took her out to play on the inflatables off and on, as did I. Wanted to save the table that we got so we could see down into the rink without having to go sit in there in the cold. So sometimes Jock took her outside for more fun, and sometimes he stayed at the table looking through the yearbook while I took her out there.



I never realised how small my kids are. It lists weight and height of the kids in this yearbook. There is a guy who used to be in Brain's class when he attended Public school. This kid is not big, he appears to be one of the smallest on his team. He weighs more than me, more than twice as much as Brain and is 8 inches taller than Brain. There are kids younger than Jock who weigh 40 and 50 lbs more and are 5 and 6 inches taller!?!? I knew Brain was pretty small and scrawny, but I did not think Jock was all that small. He is a few inches shorter than Brain, but weighs about 5 lbs more. Brain is 2 years and 7 months older than Jock.

So yeah, I found that interesting. I really hope Brain gains lots of weight and grows at least 4 or 5 inches by fall. His appetite has not really increased. I keep on trying to get him to drink ensure and things like that, but he refuses. *sigh*

I bought "Chicken Little" and if you bought a Chicken Little game for PS2 (which Brain has) or Gabecube (which we don't have) then you got a $10 gift card. So I bought the one for PS2 and told Brain and Jock they can earn it. I said that Brain will need to let Jock play it, even though the PS2 is his. He agreed. I told them today what they need to do to earn it and Brain looked at Jock and said, "It would be easier to just buy it from her, don't you think??" Jock nodded his agreement.


*GASP* What kind of people am I raising!?!?!? You want to know what they need to do to earn it??

Ok, get ready, it is radical and "out there".

I said that for the next week, they need to do what school work I assign AND their chores by a predetermined time each day without one word of complaint and without me needing to say one word to remind them. Their counselor has suggested this. She says I spend too much of my time reminding them of things. I have enough to do and this is one reason I am getting burnt out and looking into them going into Public school in the fall. She said it is not unreasonable for them to have things done by certain times. If they do not, they get extra school work/chores. They had agreed before that this is reasonable. They complain when I remind them of things, yet if I don't, nothing gets done.

I realise that they are male, and they have that against them from the start. I can't fault them for that, (I am only half way kidding here, by the way) but I also know they are old enough that this is not acceptable. So I told them they can buy it if they want, (little do they know I will raise the price to $100 and they won't have permission to play it *evil laugh*) but we are "cracking down" on this nonsense of not being responsible.

Although something strange happened yesterday. When I came back from taking Jock to see "Eight Below", Brain had unloaded the Dishwasher and loaded it up again. I was surprised. I had not asked him to do that. I was sure there was no way it was him, so I asked Stud if he had done it before we left or something. Nope. He was as shocked as me. So there IS hope! LOL

Yesterday after the awards/games, etc, I took Princess to the Pet Store. She has been wanting to go, so we went and took our time looking at little critters. We think we may get some wee mice for her to have as pets. Stud joked than when Brain has enough money to buy the ball python he is saving for, that we can feed her mice to it. She did not find that amusing at all. MEN!!


Stud played in a hockey game last night also. Since he had to be at the Pizza Party on Friday night, we have not gone on our twice monthly date. Our friends will come watch the kids this afternoon so we can do on a date. I think we will drive up to Deception Pass or something and go out to eat somewhere.

Hope everyone has had a great weekend!!!

Sick

My poor babies!

Last Friday Clown and Princess had a swimming birthday party to go to. Princess had been complaining of tummy aches and while we were there, she developed quite a fever and was just miserable. The fever broke on Saturday. Her eyes were all red and funny looking and ran and watered like crazy. They weren't itchy, though. She still complained of tummy ache and could not eat.

Then it was Clown's turn. We felt bad for him, but tired of the rolling around and flailing about, yelling that his tummy "felt weird". They seemed hungry but nauseous simultaneously. He had a fever for a short time and said his eyes were itchy. No redness or running like Princess's, but just itchy. Princess gagged and heaved a few times Sunday morning, but never actually vomited. I think that gagging was only because she had eaten so little all weekend, that she needed food. I get like that if it has been a long time since I ate. Once she ate some cereal, she seemed to feel a lot better.

Brain has been coughing up a storm as the others were a few weeks ago and is doing the nebulizer quite a bit. Took Princess to the Doc on Monday, she had a rough weekend. Diagnosis?? Some viral thing, just watch and keep an eye. Brain has no fever yet and eats fine. He had felt weak last week and I had to get him early from his Thursday classes and he missed his Friday morning Science class. Yes, I remember now. He had this whatever it is first. Then that afternoon, Princess started getting worse at the party. I had been trying to decide if I should take them or not, but they were SO excited!

Now Jock has a fever of 102.9. That is VERY high for my kids. I have a friend whose daughter(incidentally, it is the child whose party we went to) develops fevers within minutes and they go so high that she has had convulsions. They come on so suddenly, I have never heard anything like it! Anyway, I am keeping an eye on Jock. I will have to leave him home when I take Brain to Science class. Or I may take him and he can sleep in the van or something. We shall see. His end of the hockey season Pizza Party is tonight. He gets his trophy and awards and has been SO looking forward to this, I hope he can go.

Just wanted to add that on here, with those pictures that he and Princess took of each other last week.




They had a good time. There are a lot of pictures to sort through. I decided on these ones.




Jock also took some yesterday on our way to pick Brain up from his classes. The mountains were very clear and he took some of those. The camera he likes to use is not the best one, though. I am not happy with how it takes pictures. The one Princess has is the better camera. Jock prefers the other, because it is more compact. He is not concerned with quality! LOL




Princess sat on the couch, snapping pictures of her feet and legs! I think she is pleased with the pedicure she got a few weeks ago when her Dad took her for "special time". Each of us tries to spend time with each kid individually at least a few times a month. We call it "Special Time" and the kids get to choose what we will do. She was tickled that her Daddy agreed to take her for a pedicure!!! She loves the flowers the lady painted on her big toes.




Princess fell asleep on the couch last night, and Jock did not have energy to go down stairs to sleep in the Rec Room like they always do on Thursday nights. So he slept in her bed up here. He just called me for more water. His fever has gone down a bit, but I know he will spend a lot of time in bed today. I need to go and wake Brain and Clown up so we can get going to Science class. I don't want them to miss another week! Especially when the teacher was able to get some liquid nitrogen for today's class!

Have a great weekend everyone! I am still shocked that anyone reads my ramblings! LOL

"Hump Day" update

Princess is so excited! Stud stayed home from work today and is taking her to her dance class! She has been hoping this would happen for a long time. I have suggested it to him various times, when he has worked from home on a Wednesday and he has not been able to do it. Today he said he can and she is beside herself with excitement!

He is working from home because he and I need to go to Sylvan to get the results from Jock's assessment last week. Since we have been "unschooling" for three years, we wonder where Jock is in his math skills. We are of the belief that the kids will learn all that they need to learn, eventually. They may not learn the same things at the same time as their peer group in public school. However, WHEN they do, they will actually be ready to understand it and it will stick, not just be "in one ear and out the other". That is what happened to me! LOL I memorized what I thought I would need to know for an exam and then promptly forgot it. It meant nothing to me. We want better than that for our kids.

However, since I need them in PS next year, we don't want him to go in there way behind the other kids. So we had him assessed and are going to find out the results this morning. The main thing we want to know, is how to present concepts to him so he will learn best. We think we basically know his learning style, but wanted it figured out by people trained in that area. Then we can work with him better. Stud and I seem to be confusing him with our different styles and ways of teaching. So Stud is coming with me to hear it first hand and then we can work together to help Jock enjoy math more. I want him not only to learn, but to enjoy it as much as possible and have a good time! He loved the assessment and has asked to go back. We cannot afford to have him tutored there, unfortunately. It is THOUSANDS of dollars.


Stud also took Brain to work with him yesterday and then got him to his appointment with the surgeon. Brain has gained NINE POUNDS!! PRAISE GOD!! We are thrilled and hope he gains another nine in another two weeks. Who knows, though. I just would love for him to be in the 80 lb range soon and maybe even high nineties or even (dare I dream it???) ONE HUNDRED by fall. I was only 98 pounds when I got married, so I guess I need to chill on the dreaming of him gaining weight. But he IS a guy and he IS about as tall as me, and by fall I am sure will be a few inches taller. So 100 is not very unrealistic, I don't think. Is it???

I will close with some photos that Jock and Princess were taking of each other the other night, with different cameras. Clown has finished much of the school work he wanted to do, need to prepare our study of the human body and get going on "Colonial America".

Ok, all the ones through this post are ones that Jock took. The camera Princess used has not been unloaded yet. Will get some of those posted in a few days. I can't seem to stop them from being staggered like this. Ah well.



This is Brain and Jock when Brain was almost 4 and Jock was 18 months. I think Jock really likes this picture:) He remembers when it was just the two of them and they got along really well. There was seldom any conflict (unless I have blocked those years out??) until we had four and things really got nuts. The ironic part is the chaos is caused by Brain and Jock, not the younger two! Maybe it was inevitable.

How odd

Ok, so all that stuff looks like it DID post!??!

Sorry for the repeats, since I am sure there will be a lot of that!!!

Hockey

Well, I spent almost an hour the other night, close to a week ago, trying to get some photos and a short video posted on here. I tried three times and it refused to work! So I will send you elsewhere to view the video if you so desire.

Jock had his final practice of the season last week. They had a scrimmage with another team and were having a pretty nice time. There is another boy on that team who has been tormenting Jock all season. Any time they played together, he would swear at Jock. It is so sad, the kid has a filthy mouth. He would follow him all over the ice and just be tripping him, slashing, etc etc.

So finally last week at one point, he slashed Jock and Jock had enough. We got it on video. Not only did he slash him, he called him an "F-ing moron." I am glad he will not allow people to push him around. He can be a smart mouth and have attitude at home, but I constantly get complimented about his behaviour outside the house. He is polite, respectful, kind and thoughtful, etc etc. He is that at home too, don't get me wrong. It is just that the kid is an absolute angel anywhere he goes and people just love him. He is funny and a joy to be around. Whenever I make comments about his mouth at home, people seem totally shocked!

He has many many friends and I know will be very popular at school next year. This is also why I am glad he will stick up for himself and not allow people to push him around or mistreat others. He can be shy at times, but will speak up or (as you can see from this video clip) react physically if need be. You will need to go to Stud's blog at

http://perrysrandommusings.blogspot.com/


because it refuses to work for me here.


He is the one in red. It seems to me that he was just going to take it again, and was skating away and then thought better of it and went back for the pay back time! It doesn't show in the video, but he went back over right away and explained what happened to the coach.

So his team's season was over, but he was asked to play on another team for a tournament they had made it to this weekend. He agreed and then found out they did not need him for his regular position so he was not wanting to do it. Stud said something to them and they said they needed him and their own players would move around, they HAD to have Jock.

So I took him yesterday morning to the one game he was going to play in. After the game he was talking to some kid outside the locker room at one point and the kid was pretty rude. Jock was just talking all nicely to him and later the kid went away and I was thinking how rude he was when Jock told me "HE is the one who swore at me all season!" Jock defended him and said "He is just mad because coach wouldn't let him play any more that game since he was being mean and pushing the team mates around on the bench." Sounds like the kid needs an attitude adjustment BIG TIME. I feel so bad for him, wonder what is going on with him.

They lost that game but the coaches and team mates BEGGED Jock to stay and play in the next one. I had left Stud home painting Jock and Clown's bedroom and we had an appointment to get to at 3:30. I said that I could not come back and get him and they offered to take him home. Stud knows them well and some of them had been on Jock's team last year, so I felt totally fine doing that. Turns out they won the next game and Jock got two goals and I MISSED IT!!!!

So they wanted him to play in the next game this morning. We were all going to go but most of the kids are sick. I didn't know if I should leave Brain watching Princess and Clown when they are both sick, but he seemed fine with it. So Stud and I took Jock. Stud got to be in the box and take great video. They creamed the other team 13-1 and Jock got a hatrick! We told him before the game if he got one he would get $5 and a latte. Hopefully Stud will explain more and better on his blog how they needed Jock and how he helped the team. Jock was explaining to me how the coaches asked him to do such and such to set so and so up for a goal and he went out and did it. Some of the girls had not gotten a goal all season and Jock was to try to set them up for one and he tried and I don't think it worked. That is part of why they wanted him, their regular players don't have some of the strengths Jock has or something. I don't understand it all, all I know is my baby is a great in demand player and has a blast doing it!!!! They all kept on saying how they wish they had had him all season and they knew what a great player he is and that is why they wanted his help this weekend.


Jock LOVED playing with this team. There were three girls on this one, as opposed to just the one on his regular team. I found it interesting that during the game yesterday, when he got hurt badly and was laying on the ice for close to two minutes (and I was having a mild coronary as we all waited and the coach checked him over) that the first people to him were his female team mates. They hovered like worried little mothers, it was SO CUTE!!! Everyone was so nice and welcoming to him. He says he felt like a star and they all really appreciated his help and they kept going on about it. He said the coaches are encouraging and don't call him names. His head coach has called him names all season and it really bothers him.

He moves up to Pee Wee in the fall. Gonna be a fun season. He was making brownies tonight and teared up when he spoke of the season being over and how he wishes he had been with such a nice team all season. We hope to get him on a team with some of them this coming season. And he has camps all summer, hopefully some of them will be there.

Clown is trying to sleep in our bedroom here with me typing and he can't. I need to get in bed and cuddle with him and he will go off to dream land I know.

Next post will not be all about hockey!!!

Hockey Drama & Princess's career

Princess announced she is going to be a photographer when she grows up. She took the camera around tonight and took some nice shots. I will scatter some shots here and there in this post. I love to see things from her perspective. The one of my baby brother's school picture from last year is very special of course. It is right down on her level and is important to her. I sometimes find her standing and gazing at the frame and looking at him with tears glistening in her eyes. It is heartbreaking to see her miss her Uncle so much. Sometimes she just comes running to me sobbing, seemingly out of the blue. I don't even have to ask what is wrong and we just cuddle and cry together. It hits her suddenly, as it does me. Very odd, this grieving business.




On that note, my Doctor has told me that I am depressed. I have every single symptom and it is not just because of my brother's recent death. It has been creeping around in the background for some years now. She has suggested anti-depressants, which I will avoid at all costs. I will somehow work through it, with God's help and the support of my family and counselor. Counselors are good! LOL Just wanted to mention it to explain why some of you don't hear from me as often as you used to and why sometimes I go a long time without posting. No need to worry, just a fact I thought I would put out there. Still hard to get used to, I never understood the concept of depression and always thought people needed to "get over it". HA! Easier said than done.





I tell you, there has been a lot of commotion over hockey around here lately.

The season is almost over and Jock's team did not do that well. They had fun and that is what counts. I never did let any of you know what happened when the Rep team wanted him. He decided not to join them and chose to stay with his original team. So that worked out.



This past Monday, he had his last practice. It was a scrimmage with another team. There is one boy on that team who is always swearing at Jock, following him around the ice, trying to trip him, etc. I guess Jock had finally had enough and, possibly thinking "this is the last time on ice for the year, I am fed up with this punk, I am going to do something about it", here is a short video clip of what happened.

Jock is the one in red. As you can see, the child with the foul mouth and attitude slashes Jock. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but then again I have not been dealing with it all season. Not only did he slash him, he called him an "F-ing moron" as he did it.

Obviously, Jock was fed up and did something about it. You will also see the slow motion version. I find it sad that children this age even know these words at all, let alone speak them so freely. According to Jock, this kid needs his mouth washed out every few minutes. Very sad.

I must say I am glad Jock will not put up with being pushed around or being treated badly. When I was his age, I think I would have just left things alone. I never stuck up for myself. I am pleased that my kids do.

So he has been asked to play on another team who are in a tournament this weekend. It has been observed how good he is and his services were requested because for various reasons all their players could not make it. Stud was told that they needed Jock to help them score, they have seen him play before and wanted his help. So that made him feel good. All kinds of miscommunication has gone on and he is quite upset and now may not play at all, he says.

First, he was not told that he would not be playing his regular position. He panicked and said he could not play any other. They said that was not a problem, they needed him and would put him in whatever position he chose, move other players around if need be, no problem.





Then we found out, they only needed him in two games, not all four. Now tonight he was told it will only be one game on Saturday morning. He claims there is no point and was crying and very upset. When Stud was tucking him in, he said to call the guy and tell him he was not playing in any games. By the time Stud went into his office to play some guitar and came out again, there was a note on the floor in the hallway saying DO NOT call the guy and say no. Stud went into his room and asked him what he should do and Jock just sighed and said "I DON'T KNOW!" Poor kid. Drama Drama Drama







Of course there is a lot more news, but I must get to bed. I have been getting up at 6 and doing my yoga, weights and walking out in the cold every morning. I still eat horribly, but one thing at a time, right?? LOL





We have Science class tomorrow, a birthday party, I am watching a friend's son, blah blah blah.

Friday Excursion

Yesterday after Science Class, I surprised the kids with a trip the Seattle Aquarium. It has been 4 or 5 months since we went and we need to make use of our membership. I can't remember when it expires, but it is within the next few months, I think. So we need to run down there a few times a month at least. They just love it and I adore watching their faces light up when they see the fur seals or otters flitting all over. Even Brain never tires of it:)



We had a rushed trip yesterday. Did not get down there until 2 pm and had to be back up North (where we live) by 5:30 so Jock could make it to hockey practise.


You will note here, standing under some salmon, Jock is explaining in detail something he learned on a field trip to a Salmon ladder one time. He may be a jock, but he is a smart one:) LOL






Jelly fish are so amazing!!!






I took many photos, but have narrowed it down to some of my favourites to share with you fine folks. They REALLY love the Octopus. Brain and Princess especially enjoy talking to it. After the Aquarium, we ran across the street and up the many steps to Pike Place Market.





Princess with her buddy. Note the fake tatoos on her face and neck. She earned those this past week for exceptional behaviour. Clown earned the Power Rangers wallet with chain that you may be able to detect in his front jeans pocket. They have been AMAZING with their attitude. I asked Clown to unload the dishwasher the other day. He was conversing with a sibling and did not hesitate. Just said "Ok Mom" and kept talking as he unloaded. They have both had their beds made, been dressed and ready for breakfast and devotions every morning this week. They have not fought and Clown took it upon himself to dust the living room furniture yesterday!?!?! They are just amazing and deserved a reward. So we played "hot and cold" and they found their treats throughout the house. I love doing things like that. Princess also got a doll she has been wanting really badly for months. Has to do with a "Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus" DVD. Clown got some bubble gum and pez dispenser.





No trip to Pike Place is complete without a photo of people sitting on the famous brass pig. Not that you cannot really see much of the pig itself. Who is kidding who, my kids are MUCH nicer to look at:) I did not even notice that until I looked at the photo now. I thought I got more of the pig in the shot! OH WELL!

So there you are. Brain and Jock are trying to be nice, I am sure. They are fighting the hormones, so I try to cut them a little slack. I remember. It is no fun at that age. Brain has been much better about doing his school assignments and even Jock is having a better attitude and not complaining. Which is nice. However attitude is still not hard to come by.

Brain won a Gameboy SP from a gogurt tube (yogurt in a tube for you people who are scratching your heads) weeks ago and it came in the mail this week. They are all sharing it and were great about that yesterday on the drive down to Seattle.

Today we are working in de-cluttering and cleaning Jock and Clown's room. We will start painting next weekend and get things ship shape in there. Maybe I will post before and after pictures. It is quite the sight right now!!!

Later tonight, Stud and I are going on a date. The kids with have fun with their friends at their house and then Stud and I can have some time to converse without constant interruptions. So we are looking forward to that!

Ok, will try to be better about posting. I am just keeping my computer off a lot of the time and doing more fun things with the kids.

Have a great weekend, everyone!!!

YOWZA!

We have been having quite the conversation on another blog about abortion. Very, very interesting. There are some well educated people out there. I am impressed. I certainly need to educate myself more than I am.

Just wanted to post my two babies (guess I can't call them that much longer, eh?? *sniff*) on the way to church this morning. Don't they clean up nice???




So in local news here at home we have the following-

We are leaning toward putting all of the kids in public school this coming fall. Try it AGAIN for a year, see if things work better this time. We have had them home for four years straight now, maybe five?? Can't remember. Anyway, I need a break, they need to experience something totally new, and we are thinking of attempting it again. We are excited about it. Well, the kids are not! LOL But Stud and I are.

A yeast infection that I had about a month ago is back with a vengeance! LOL Or maybe it never totally went away. No, I am not shy about these things. Not normally, anyway. Bloody thing. I hope it decides to vacate for GOOD this time. Stupid thing, I have only had one other one, when I was about 18. Nothing since, until now. ARG!!!


The kids are all coughing and hacking up a storm. We have Clown on steroids and he and Princess both on strong cough syrup. Almost all of them are doing the nebulizer. Princess was at the Doc last week because she sounded a bit croupy, but it never did turn into that. We have had her showering, which helps a bit but she fights. She prefers to laze about in the bathtub and play with her Barbies and write with her bath crayons.

Jock still has an eye infection. Dern kid won't keep his fingers out of his eyes. He always sticks his fingers RIGHT IN the eye, touches the sensitive tissue. Then can't seem to figure out why his eyes won't heal when he is always introducing more germs in there!?!??! INFURIATING!


Tried to make a pot roast in the crock pot to have a nice hot meal to come home from church to. Stupid thing isn't even CLOSE to done, even though Stud put it in there at 7 this morning. Yes, you all read correctly. Those of you who know him will be shocked!! LOL I left instructions written in detail for him. I did not want to get up as early as he needed to so that he could play guitar during the first service. Since he needed to be up anyway, we decided he could try his hand at this. I think the crock pot is too old or something. Can that happen??

Stud is in some small skits at church tonight. They are doing a dessert theatre and we need to leave here just after 5 to get there in time. So we can't even eat the roast for supper:( WWWAAAAA!!!!! He has to be AT church by 3, so there is no way he can have any. It will be fun, they do improv stuff and it is always really enjoyable. We have some really talented people at our church.

Friends of ours have joined with us to so that we can each go out as couples once a week. We were going to do every other week. They watched our kids last Saturday night and we went to a movie. Then last night we watched theirs and they went. We both would like to do it every week, so that our night is Friday and theirs is Saturday or something along those lines. We are really excited. Brain is old enough to leave with them, but as you saw in previous posts, we can't really leave Jock. This puts our minds at ease the and kids are all together playing and having a grand old time!!!

So those are some pretty major things going on. I need to get off of here and we are all going for a walk together before Stud leaves for the church.

Update

Ok everyone, I am back. Thought I would post a little bit while Brain is eating his late breakfast and the younger two are playing together. Jock went to work with Stud. They have some hockey thing after anyway so sometimes he goes to work with him. He is not happy with me, I sent a backpack full of school work for him to do!!!

Lots has been happening around here. Took Brain yesterday for his post-op check. The surgeon had said most people lose 10 lbs the first month after surgery, from eating such a limited diet. I gasped when he told me that, cause Brain needs to GAIN a minimum of 20 lbs. We are talking a 13 year old, almost 5 feet tall (thank GOD he is short) that weighs less than 70 lbs. He looked at him and said "With him, it will be more like 2-3. He doesn't look like he has much to spare."

Turns out he has lost 8. The surgeon is very concerned and wants to see him back in two weeks, which normally isn't the case. He told Brain that he could try a hamburger. Told us various other ideas and inspected the incisions. Two of them are very nicely healed, won't likely show at all. Two of them have a big hard chunk behind them. One of those will go away, but the other one will likely always be there. A small bump. The one IN his navel, we can't even see. He said they have healed up nicely.

He asked Brain if he is glad that he got the surgery done. Brain said YEAH! He asked why and Brain said "Because I feel better. It sucked at first, but I don't feel like I am going to puke all the time anymore. It is awesome." He actually WANTS to eat now, but since things are still a bit limited, he can't.

I got him a hamburger on the way home and he ate it slowly. I let him have about 3 bites and then we set it aside for 5 minutes or so. Three more bites, etc etc. he said it felt SO GOOD to have something of substance in his tummy. All he has had is yogurt, cottage cheese, pudding, jello, milkshakes, soup, mashed potatoes, eggs, bananas etc. No crackers, bread, veggies, meat or anything like that. So we are very excited. It seems that he actually has an appetite. Just frustrating that he can't eat anything. He says he can't wait, he is going to go nuts and eat everything in site when he gets the go ahead!!! He can't wait for pizza.

So I am hoping he can put on at least 30 lbs between now and the end of summer. I don't think that is unrealistic, but who knows. He has grown over an inch since December. So he keeps getting taller, which is nice. I just want to stop being able to see every bone in his body. If only I could give him 30 of my pounds!

We are off to Science class today. Lots more news, but I must get off and get things done. WHOA! I got Clown a book about bugs the other day. His latest interest. And now I hear Brain explaining something to him, about females and males attaching to each other. I better go make sure he isn't taking it upon himself to do the "Birds and Bees" talk!

Long Break

Yes, I am going on one. At least a week. I am not sure when I can make myself start, but I am sure it will be on Monday, if not before.

I need to shut this thing off and focus on the kids, and getting more active. I have cut out sugar and wheat, am drinking more water, eating far less meat and quit my beloved Starbucks treats cold turkey. *sniff* It has been three days since I had one and the fact that it is torture to me is pathetic. Says a lot right there. I COULD just do the less fattening one, but I won't even allow myself that much until I get to a certain weight. I have put on 5 lbs in the past few months just from drinking those blasted things 3-4 times a week. Enough is enough!

Perhaps by the time I turn this on again, I will have located the photos I want to put along with various posts.

Although I DID want to announce that Brain was nominated "Student of the Month" at his classes that he attends. He got an award for being respectful, considerate and helpful. There is a funny story that goes along with it, but I need to get to bed.

I will miss reading all the blogs and yapping on here.

Ttfn!!!

I find this amusing

This is not what is amusing. I just wanted to add this:) Princess on her way to the HSing Valentine's Day party. Note the Hello Kitty Necklace. Stud gave that to her that morning! Was she pleased!



I am watching my friend J's two boys today. We shall call them "Giggles" and "Smiley". They are the SWEETEST BOYS I have ever come across. Giggles is the same age as Jock and Smiley is the same age as Clown. They all get along famously. Never been any conflict. The names I have thought up are exactly how they are. Giggles is always giggling and Smiley never stops grinning.





So Brain is playing a video game that Giggles brought. Giggles and Jock are playing Lord of the Rings Stratego while Clown and Smiley were downstairs playing Checkers. Princess was taking photos of the cats laying about. She is quite the photographer lately, I think I will post some of her work on here.




So I agreed to let the younger group play video games. Clown and Princess have recently caught the bug, but Clown gets very agitated and is grounded from it for weeks at a time. He yells at the TV, calls characters "Moron" and "Idiot", throws controllers to the floor, etc.




It has been a few weeks since he has played, so I told him if he controlled himself, he could show Smiley a few games. Princess and I decided to colour in a colouring book while they played, then she and Smiley would play.

This is what you would have heard if you had been down there -

Clown: OH YEAH! Take that! UH HUH, I am coming after you!!!

Smiley: What am I supposed to press??? What DO I DO!?!?!?

Princess: Smiley, press the A. NO NO! THE A BUTTON!!! Mom, can you pass me the yellow??

Clown: WE DIED!?!? WE DIED!?!? NO SMILEY!! If you had just pressed (then tells him details of what he was supposed to do) your guy would not have fallen off of there and we would have defeated them!! Let's try again, ok???

Princess: Clown, be nice to Smiley. Smiley, when you and Clown play 3 more rounds, I will play with you, ok???

He ignores her.

Princess: *shrug of shoulders* Hmmmmm...I guess Smiley doesn't hear very well. Mom, what colour is this, it's ugly!!!

Me: Looks like baby poop, but it is called "Bronze Yellow".

Princess: EEEWWWW...I can't use that for her dress!?!?!? What about that pink over there, can you pass me that?? OH NO!!!!!!!!!! GET THE WAND!! GET THE WAND SMILEY!!!

Clown: PRINCESS! We are TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!!!

Princess: *holding back tears* I was just trying to help! He needs to get the wand! Smiley, did you know what to do when Yoshi falls off of there???

Smiley: No! What do I do??

Me: CLOWN! Would you PLEASE tell poor Smiley what to press!?!?!?

Clown is immersed in the game and has no idea what is being said most of the time.

Princess: Ok, Smiley. Press R if you want to (I can't remember) and then go over to the left and jump on the (Again, can't remember details) and you can...


On and on she went. I think Smiley is going to get it eventually and I know that he will get more help when Princess is right there playing with him. I find it amusing, how she was desperate to help him, but Clown just got annoyed because Smiley did not instinctively know exactly what to do on a game he has never played before.

At one point Princess muttered "Sheesh. I am just trying to help." I should have prepared her and told her that no matter how much she tries to help guys, even when they ask for it, it won't be appreciated. I will prepare her one day, but for now, I kept out of it for the most part.

Maybe you had to be there to see/hear it, but it was quite entertaining. Let me look through some of her recent fascinating photography and add it to this for you all to enjoy!

Jock

I don't think I can post the picture I spoke of in my last post. I can't find it!!!


Ok, so I knew I was pregnant with Jock, long before any test results would agree with me. We women know our bodies, right???

Finally, the blood test revealed that yes indeed, I would have another baby in June of 1995.

I was sick. Very sick. I was so sick we decided we would only have two kids. I was sure I would not be able to live through something like my pregnancies again. I am sure I was just as sick with Brain, but since I had to work for a while, I had no choice but to "suck it up". EEEEEeeewwwww, that can be taken in a bad way.

Let's carry on and get that awful vision to go away.

So yes, since I was so sick and we thought we would only have these two, we agreed to find out what this baby was. I wanted one of each and thought that if it was another boy, I better find out now and give myself time to get used to the idea of no daughter. I have since matured past that silliness, but at the time, was very serious about it. My parents were down from Canada and my Mom was in the room with us when we found out. That is a very special memory for me!!!

He was also 11 days overdue. I was induced with him also, just as I was with Brain. Opppsss, almost typed his real name in there. LOL!! I was even going to give birth to them in the same room, when I got a nasty prank phone call. The staff looked things up in the records and apparently the same thing had happened when I was in there giving birth to Brain. Maybe there is something with that particular room, but they said it had only happened with me. Weird. So they moved me.


So he was born easily, a few pushes and there he was. We took him home and started the adventure with two children. I remember when he was about 4 days old, trying to go get groceries. I was near tears. I could not figure out how to get him strapped to me (I have never understood those people who carry small babies around in those car seats, you know??? I want the baby next to me as much as possible) and get Brain out and then get them both settled and back into the car after we were done shopping. It was quite a feat somehow. That was a scorcher of a summer, so I remember standing there and being over tired and VERY HOT. YUCKY. I don't like hot.

By the time he was 4 months old, he was the weight Brain had been at two years. Yes, you read correctly. That is not a typo. I remember he could not get enough food and I would sit trying not to cry, I was so happy. When he was 10 and 11 months old, he and I got up at 5 every morning. He had a HUGE bowl of oatmeal, a banana, and toast. By eight o'clock, he was tuckered out and went for his nap. Brain got up and he and I had time together while Jock slept.

He had strawberry blonde hair that stuck straight up on his head. Similar to a baby with FAS. That is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, for those who do not know. I had many foster brothers and sisters who had that. His hair reminded me of that. This lasted a few months and then the red went out of it and it was laying straight against his head, white blonde.


He was always very interested in cars, trucks, etc. He was a typical boy in that way. Brain had never cared, but Jock would sit and babble to his toy trucks, stroke them lovingly and just chatter away to them for as long as 45 minutes. It amazes me how early their personalities are clearly shown.


If Brain was in the room, Jock never took his eyes off of him. It was SO CUTE!. Brain ate it up too, he loved the adoration:) Man, those were the good ole days!! Brain would be talking about something and walk past Jock. Jock would keep his eyes on Brain and try to eat anything that went near his face! LOL It was SO FUNNY!! He was just sitting there, but if I leaned over, or someone reached for something, he would try to eat them and then look all timid and ashamed when he realised that whatever it was, was not food:)


We moved from here to SC when Jock was 6 weeks short of his 2nd birthday. I told him I was going to write about him here and he forbid me from telling some of the adorable little phrases he would say when he was learning to talk.

A few things I CAN tell though. Within the first few weeks of being there, any time he saw a Van that looked like our good friend's from here, he would freak out. It was adorable but very sad. We would drive along and he saw a van like their's. He would start bouncing in his seat and smile and wave to anyone who may see and say with a huge contented sigh "Go home now!!!!! BYE!! Ok. Ok, go home now." The van would get farther from us and he would frantically start calling his friends Ashley and Johnny, convinced that they were in there and for some reason were leaving him.

"AAAAAAAAA-EEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! Joh-eeeeeeee! GO HOME NOW!! GO HOME NOW!!!!!!!!!!" He would be patting his chest frantically, because he could not say his name, but was trying to get them to see that HE wanted to go home now with them.

This happened almost every time I took the boys out anywhere. After about a month, he quit. It was so hard for me, though. Because I wanted to come home here also. I wondered what was going on in his little mind. I knew that he honestly believed that was them. I can't imagine how confused he must have been, wondering why they would always drive away and ignore him.

So I will continue this soon. I have pictures to go along with these, but it will be a while before I can get them on here. So now that I think about it, I may just wait a while to continue the posts on the kids.

I don't want to delete this or save it, so sorry. Will talk about other things until I get photos arranged that will go with these posts. Maybe you all don't care, but I do:)

That is it for now!!!

Pet Peeve

OK, this is one of my biggest ones. Something that makes me want to SCREAM loudly like a lunatic.

WHY, oh WHY, when you are in the bathroom, do the kids feel the need to wiggle the door knob as they talk to you!??!?! ARG!!!

First of all, I have just recently been able to shut the door again, after years of needing it open and having NO privacy. The kids panic. People with small children know exactly what I am talking about.

So after years of putting in my time of peeing and showering for the entire house to see, now I get a break. I get to have a closed door. I almost forgot what it is like and sometimes still forget to shut it, out of habit. This greatly distrubs my older children, so for their sake, I try to remember to shut it.

Their father is home, but for some reason, suddenly when I shut the door to the bathroom, they feel the need to come talk to me. Not only can I hardly hear them through the door, but as they talk, they stand there hanging onto the doorknob!??! I think they are doing some manner of acrobatics or something, from the sounds of things. Sound like the thing will be ripped out of the door sometimes.


WHY!?!?!? ESPECIALLY if their father is home. WHY DO THEY FEEL THE NEED TO COME TO ME ALL THE TIME!??!?!

And why can they not just stand there and talk?? I don't understand that.

For some reason it drives me bonkers.

Have a great day!

I totally forgot!

Ok, I am not done raving about Brain. I completely forgot to fill you all in on his health issues and what led up to his recent surgery.

He always had the food allergies, skin disease and was small and scrawny. Even as a newborn, when he was gaining like crazy and nice and chunky, he just did not eat. I had to wake him up all the time. He would go hours and hours without eating, if I did not try to nurse him. Never seemed to feel hungry. I was concerned, but when I DID try to feed him, for the most part he would eat. He was gaining weight, etc, so I did not worry too much.

Then when he was failure to thrive, losing weight and would not eat at all, I got really concerned. He was incredibly picky, and I did not want to encourage that. However, if there were 3 things he would eat, I gave them to him over and over again. I was not about to start lecturing on trying other foods, etc. He seemed to always feel so sick, and was so cranky because of it, I did not want a melt down. Stud and I had to walk on eggs shells because if we did one wrong move or said a certain thing, it would set Brain off into a fit that would end in him vomiting anything he had actually ingested. Which was usually not much, so we avoided that at all costs. We knew it was not misbehaviour, the poor kid felt HORRIBLE.

Had him on Pediasure and vitamins and just prayed and hoped that he would start gaining. Once he got through that horrible time from 14-18 months, he seemed to be not too bad. he did start gaining, slowly but surely. The sweet little boy we remembered was in there somewhere. He appeared again and we were on our merry way.

By the time he was 6 or so, we took him to an endocrinologist. He weighed about 35 pounds and was very tiny. Stud and I were scrawny as kids too. Our parents reminded us of that when we worried about Brain. I knew it was more than that, though. I wondered if he had some kind of nutrient absorption problem, but the Dr's all shrugged it off. He was diagnosed with "Constitutional Growth Delay" by the Endocrinologist. Did a "bone age" test and his bones were the size of a typical 4 year old, at almost 7 years old. They told us when he hit puberty, he would suddenly grow and it would be incredibly painful for him. So far, that has not happened.

We carried on like this, with him never even ON the growth chart at the pediatrician's office. Well, that is not true. A few times he made it on and was just under the 5th percentile. As long as he did not LOSE weight, people seemed fine with it. He went for periods of a year, without gaining one pound. He did not lose, so no one seemed too worried.

I went to Costa Rica in April of 2002, to visit my brother's three kids who lived there at the time. While I was gone, Stud took Brain and Jock to get updated allergy tests. I asked him how it went, and he said fine. Told me it was no problem taking care of them all (I had been gone close to a week) and getting them to their activities, etc etc had been a breeze. He did not have any idea why I was ever frazzled at all. He thought what I do every day is a piece of cake. Although the kids told me that Daddy seemed impatient and was pretty grumpy at them:) LOL He would never admit that he got a bit frazzled. They were sure glad when I got back! LOL


Brain seemed to be always snuffling and when he read things out loud to me, as he loves to do, it was torture to listen to. He seemed completely clogged up. I took him some months later to the allergist and asked about it. They did a CT scan and could not believe it! His sinuses were totally infected and packed full. We have NO IDEA how long he had been that way. They put him on major meds, we had to do a steam sauna at least twice a day, stay in the steamy shower for a long time (which is opposite of what he needs to do to care for his skin problems) etc etc. After three months, we went back to check and they were much better, but still incredibly packed. We kept on the meds for more than 6 months and the allergist spoke of possible surgery if this did not get remedied.

I asked him to remind me what Brain was allergic to, maybe I am missing something. He looked through the chart and said that when they had been tested, about a year ago (when Stud took them), it was discovered that they are VERY allergic to chicken, of all things. CHICKEN!! I almost jumped out of the chair! We eat chicken AT LEAST 3 times a week!?!?!? I had to laugh at Stud. He said he thought it sounded a little familiar. He seemed to recall Dr. M mentioning something about the allergy test results, but he was so distracted with all the kids, etc, he totally forgot. Hmmmm....everything went fine with me gone, hmmm??? Piece of cake, eh?? LOL Now he knew what I dealt with ALL THE TIME, but would never admit that it was kind of hard to keep track of things and what I do is the least bit difficult.

Once we cut that out, Brain cleared up quickly. However, he got worse again, even with no chicken. We went back and forth trying to fix his dern sinuses, talking about surgery, etc. September of 2004, he started feeling nauseous all the time. Started having what we thought were panic attacks. That is an entire post on it's own, though.


He had never really known what it is like to feel hungry. We would ask him once in a while and he said no, he was not sure what we were talking about. As he got older and I did not make meals regularly, he would go all day without eating. Jock would make himself something for lunch and ask for snacks. At supper, I would call them all and ask Brain if he had eaten anything. He would think hard, shrug and say "No, I guess not." We have a picture of my brother's kids, my little brother and my kids taken a few summers ago. I will post it. Brain is the one in the green Costa Rica shirt, hanging onto my brother's wheelchair, looking like he is about to pass out/throw up. Because he was. My mother was frantic. Things would get so chaotic and I would forget to remind him to eat. I got impatient with him doing that. It was just another thing thing for me to do, remind a kid to eat?!??! Who needs to be reminded to eat!?!?!? I thought this was just the way he was, but if you read more, it will make more sense.

We took him to the allergist last May (2005), because he had said if Brain got another sinus infection, we would do surgery. He had yet another and were tired of all the pills to swallow, etc etc.

When we were there, he was flipping through the chart and saying, "Hmmmm...hmmmmm...uh huh..." etc over and over to himself. Then he looked shocked and asked "Has he not ever done the GERD study before?? Has he had an upper GI and been tested for GERD???"

Now, I knew what GERD was because a friend of mine has it. It had never occurred to me that my child would have it?? I thought heartburn was for pregnant people and older adults.

I said no, why would he?? What does that have to do with Sinus infections?!?! He looked like he was trying not to kick himself and like he had just made a most amazing discovery. He said that if you have GERD, the stomach acid can leak and irritate the Vegas nerve, near your diaphragm. If this nerve is irritated it can cause...

Excema

Sinus Disease

Asthma.

We sat staring at each other with our jaws dropped. My mind was just racing, thinking "You mean to tell me that my child has had this GERD since infancy and THAT is why he doesn't want to eat and has all these conditions?!?!?!"

There was no point in getting mad that the poor man had not thought of it before now. He had been Brain's allergist since he was a toddler. Too bad it took over 10 years for him to think of this, at least he thought of it now, right???

He gave me the # of a GI specialist to take Brain to. He said he would be surprised if she did not get him into surgery right away. He briefly went over the surgery that Brain just had on the 9th of this month and let us know what it would do, etc.

I won't bore you with the details and why it took 9 months for them to finally do it. That is why he had the surgery that he did on the 9th. They went in and tightened where the esophagus connects in the stomach. When I mentioned what Dr. M said to the surgeon, about the nerve and this maybe causing all Brain's health problems, he looked skeptical and claimed to never have heard that before. They said though, the reason he has not wanted to eat is because no matter what he eats, it causes pain and discomfort. Why would you voluntarily do that to yourself?? So I imagine him as a tiny baby, not wanting to eat because it made him feel icky:(


I had noticed the past few days that the skin on his chest, back, arms, legs etc has looked smoother. It was always scaly and rough. He sheds like crazy and his chunks and flakes of skin are all over the house. There has seriously always been a fine layer of skin all over the floor of his room. Whenever I change the sheets on his bed, it looks like it is snowing in his room. So this is very exciting for all of us:)


Saturday, as Brain and I drove to see "The Pink Panther" and spend his gift card at TRU, I asked him if I could feel his back. He grinned and leaned forward and I reached up under his coat. It was not like our's, but it is MUCH smoother and not nearly as rough. Pieces did not come off in my hand, as they always have. I was trying not to cry, but I know he knew how choked up I was.

He beamed at me and put his head sideways how he does when he gets emotional. He could not stop grinning. I said "Maybe Dr. M knows what he is talking about after all, eh?? The surgeon just fixed you, but he doesn't know details. How is your nose??" He said very proudly, "I can breathe out of my left nostril."

I tried not to scream with delight. It tends to frighten them when I do that.

So there you are, longwinded, but I hope it makes some sense. Tomorrow, if all goes well, I will start the saga of Jock. I will look for the photo I mentioned, but can't now. I must clean up the school room. Clown has been after me to sit down and do math lessons with him, so I need to jump on that. I can't do it when there is disorder in the area we do "school". I want to to start math with him tomorrow and have a big clean up job ahead of me. They have gotten into all the craft stuff, paints, etc and it takes a while to clean up and organise again.

Hope everyone had a great long weekend!

Nose warmer

Just remembered I told my mom I would post a picture of Clown with the treat she crocheted him.

This is his nose warmer. Apparently, when we were up in the prairies this past holiday season, Clown and his Granny had a discussion about this. She got it finished and mailed it with their Valentine parcel.

He is pleased as can be and it came none too soon. Things are getting chilly indeed.

Dad, please do not forget to show this to Mom.

Deo-DORANT

That is how my bro and I used to say deodorant.

HOW on EARTH does the stuff get all over everything??

I make a point of putting on my shirt FIRST. This morning, I am wearing a sleeve-less shirt. Of course it is black. So I make certain that it is on like it is supposed to be.

Then, I lift up me arms and carefully swipe the stuff underneath. I learned the hard way not to put it on and THEN put on the shirt or whatever the top part of my ensemble is. No one taught me this, that I can recollect. It is just amazing that I figured this out.

I vow to let my kids in on life's little nuggets of wisdom such as this. Save them some time and humiliation.

So I am pleased that all is well, and move to get the shirt that goes on over top of said sleeve-less shirt. Something seems to be glowing in my peripheral vision. Seriously. Luminescent almost.

ACK!!!!!!!!! A large glob of blasted deodorant is sitting on the front of my shirt!?!?

Down low, near to the tummy region, no less!?!?!?


HOW ON EARTH DOES THIS HAPPEN!?!?!? I only put it UNDER MY ARMS. HONESTLY.

Am I the only freak that this happens to???

Speak up people.

I know you are out there reading this.


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Alright, the little ones and I are off to a birthday party. I guess non church going people do not think about church going people when they plan these things?? LOL

Stud and the older two just left. He plays guitar during both services, and the older ones are NOT staying home alone. They have not been to their SS classes in months. So they get to go early and watch Stud and the rest of the worship team get ready for the services. Then it is off to their classes.

The party is from 10-noon. At some type of Playground Equipment selling place. If it is the place I think it is, we have been to one party there about 4 or 5 years ago. I know the kids will have fun, but Clown is being Clown. Very nervous, because there will be people that he does not know there. I told him that he can stay with me and visit with M and M.

The birthday child is the granddaughter of friends of ours. The aforementioned M&M. Stud has worked with this man since we moved here from SC in '91. Besides from '97-00 when we were back in SC, that is. Since Stud's family lives in SC and mine is in Canada, these guys have been like surrogate grand-parents to our kids. They try to make it to all the dance recitals, the HSing talent show where Brain will play his violin, some hockey games, etc etc.


Their grand daughter is right in between the ages of Clown and Princess. Princess just turned 5 in October, this birthday girl is 6 today and Clown will be 7 in May. They all three get along wonderfully and love to play together. We missed her past two birthdays, so are going to for sure make it to this one.

I will leave you with a quick snapshot from last week, when Jock suddenly decided to get his hair chopped off. He has had one trim since September of 2004. It was quite long and he tired of being mistaken for a girl. I totally forgot about his earrings! He has two piercings in his left ear and I have not seen them in months! LOL He is not thrilled, because he has a lot of moles and forgot about them. There are a lot, especially on the left side of his neck. I think they add character. He doesn't like moles, he had to have one removed a few years ago, but more on that when I devote some posts to him.

When he was getting the cut, Clown decided since Jock looked so good, he would get his curls cut off. So here they are, with Princess, at the haircutting place.