Yes, I forgot to mention that my mother is having a hard time doing Brain's laundry. I did not even think about it, but much of his clothing is hand-me-downs from my little brother. Since Brain is only 9 months younger than Davy, he always got bags full of clothes and he just loves them. It is bittersweet to look back at photos of Davy wearing a particular shirt and then look over at Brain and he is wearing the exact same shirt.
I wish I had thought of that, I would have made it a point to only send clothes that I had bought for Brain and were not handed down. The problem is, Brain packed his own suitcase! He is old enough to do that on his own and most of his absolute must-haves and FAVOURITES, happen to be Davy's old ones. Many of them are fleecy and cozy and since Brain has no body fat, he loves to be all warm and cozy. Now that I really sit and think about it, I think I thought about it a bit before he left and we both just shared a look. He kind of looked at me with a look that said, "I need to wear these. It is important to me and I am sure Granny will be alright." Then I totally forgot, until my poor Mum said something very tearfully on the phone one time, about washing Davy's old things for Brain and seeing him wearing them.
Brain said on the phone yesterday, that he was so upset they did not go to the cemetery the original day that was planned, because they were all placing a cross out there that a good friend had made for Davy. Brain really wanted to be there for that. He and Princess told me that when they went there yesterday on the way to Tia and Tio's in Calgary, that all of them did well. He and Princess said none of them cried and that is was very nice to go out there and they are so glad they could. They are tougher than I.
The kids and I missed church today. Slept late. Stud went to play guitar as he does most Sundays. He should be back soon. Freckles was excited to go to church and be in Clown's class, so I feel bad that we didn't make it. I took her, Jock and Brain for a bike ride up at the school. Now they are still riding around outside while I try to get the Master Bedroom emptied so the carpet can be put in on Tuesday. Freckles' parents will be here to get her in a few hours and then I will leave for Canada! YAHOO!!!
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Saturday, August 19, 2006
My babies are coming home!!!
Well, tomorrow I leave to get my babies. The oldest and youngest are coming home!
Brain could care less. He is having the time of his life. When I was talking to him the other day, I asked if he is helping with daily chores like he does here. He hesitated and admitted no, he was not. He knew he should be, he was just having so much fun going places, sleeping in, visiting and playing on the computer. The main thing he is loving is not doing his laundry. He seemed amazed at the fact that his clothes just appear, all clean and folded in his suitcase! LOL It has been so long since I have done he and Jock's laundry, that he forgets how nice it is:) We joked a bit about how amazing it is that his supper appears out of thin air, and how his precious and dearly loved Granny actually has nothing to do with that! We use a lot of sarcasm.
I loved hearing his laugh and how his voice is changing and getting squeaky sometimes. He was saying how he had been snacking on popcorn twists and grape pop. He LOVES popcorn twists and craves them all the time at home here. For you Americans, it is a yummy treat like chips, kind of. Can't really describe them, but they are one of his many beloved Canadian delicacies.
Princess keeps telling me she is going to give me a "GREAT BIG BEAR HUG" when she sees me:) She has been having so much fun, but is certainly ready to come home. She misses her Daddy a lot and always asked me on the phone, how he was and what he was doing. So I would suggest to him that he call her and when he did call her from work a few times she was very pleased. I got her some new shirts, a pair of pants, fall coat, socks and some new "church" shoes. They are laid out on her bed for her to see right when she gets home! I also got her a Princess paper doll making kit today. I got Brain some new clothes and fun things too, I can't wait to see what they think of their gifts when they get back:) He has always loved Medieval things, so I got him a really cool book about that.
When my parents and some siblings went to my brother's grave on the one year anniversary of his burial, Brain and Princess were sick and could not go. So my parents asked them if they wanted to try again and they both said it was important for them to go, they felt the need to do that. So they were going to stop by there on the 6 hour drive to my brother and SIL's today. I have not heard from them yet, will need to call soon. They will stay there tonight and then everyone will take them to the airport tomorrow to catch their flight to Vancouver. I will leave here at about 4 to make sure I make it through the border and will be there in plenty of time. We were all going to go, but Stud says he will stay home with the boys and get all the furniture moved out of our bedroom for the carpet installation on Tuesday! I am SO EXCITED about finally getting new carpet! I will devote a post to that once it is installed next week:)
Today Stud finished what we had planned on this one wall in the house. When you walk into the house, the main wall in the entry had this pastel striped wallpaper on it for years. In June, we stripped it and painted it green when we redid the entry way and stairway. We planned to sponge a darker green over that and he did that today. It looks REALLY GOOD! The new light fixtures are on order and we are not sure when they will be in. So we got that done and I got a huge load of food from Costco.
We have three friends over today. Giggles and Smiley are here for a few hours. Their parents have been watching our kids a lot lately, so Stud and I can attend regular sessions with our counselor and go on regular dates to try and re-connect. The kids have been having a good time. Right now, Giggles and Jock are playing Stratego. Smiley, Clown and our other friend Freckles (She is two months older than Clown and they have been best buds since infancy. Her Dad and Stud are best friends and carpool to work together every day) are outside playing some very loud imaginary game together. And Stud is watching TV. Freckles is staying over night. We have not had her sleep over for a long time, and it is long past due time to do so!
She is very pleased that I let her chose what to eat for supper. We ordered pizza! She wanted Giggles and Smiley to know that SHE chose that and she was beaming her adorable grin to anyone who was around. I will ask her parents if I can post some photos, I am sure they will say yes. Her Dad was keeping a blog before and he had pics of she and her little sister on it.
Alright, I am off of here for now. Will let you know about Princess and Brain's holiday soon and see what photos they took that I can post. Also more on my baby brother shortly.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend!
Brain could care less. He is having the time of his life. When I was talking to him the other day, I asked if he is helping with daily chores like he does here. He hesitated and admitted no, he was not. He knew he should be, he was just having so much fun going places, sleeping in, visiting and playing on the computer. The main thing he is loving is not doing his laundry. He seemed amazed at the fact that his clothes just appear, all clean and folded in his suitcase! LOL It has been so long since I have done he and Jock's laundry, that he forgets how nice it is:) We joked a bit about how amazing it is that his supper appears out of thin air, and how his precious and dearly loved Granny actually has nothing to do with that! We use a lot of sarcasm.
I loved hearing his laugh and how his voice is changing and getting squeaky sometimes. He was saying how he had been snacking on popcorn twists and grape pop. He LOVES popcorn twists and craves them all the time at home here. For you Americans, it is a yummy treat like chips, kind of. Can't really describe them, but they are one of his many beloved Canadian delicacies.
Princess keeps telling me she is going to give me a "GREAT BIG BEAR HUG" when she sees me:) She has been having so much fun, but is certainly ready to come home. She misses her Daddy a lot and always asked me on the phone, how he was and what he was doing. So I would suggest to him that he call her and when he did call her from work a few times she was very pleased. I got her some new shirts, a pair of pants, fall coat, socks and some new "church" shoes. They are laid out on her bed for her to see right when she gets home! I also got her a Princess paper doll making kit today. I got Brain some new clothes and fun things too, I can't wait to see what they think of their gifts when they get back:) He has always loved Medieval things, so I got him a really cool book about that.
When my parents and some siblings went to my brother's grave on the one year anniversary of his burial, Brain and Princess were sick and could not go. So my parents asked them if they wanted to try again and they both said it was important for them to go, they felt the need to do that. So they were going to stop by there on the 6 hour drive to my brother and SIL's today. I have not heard from them yet, will need to call soon. They will stay there tonight and then everyone will take them to the airport tomorrow to catch their flight to Vancouver. I will leave here at about 4 to make sure I make it through the border and will be there in plenty of time. We were all going to go, but Stud says he will stay home with the boys and get all the furniture moved out of our bedroom for the carpet installation on Tuesday! I am SO EXCITED about finally getting new carpet! I will devote a post to that once it is installed next week:)
Today Stud finished what we had planned on this one wall in the house. When you walk into the house, the main wall in the entry had this pastel striped wallpaper on it for years. In June, we stripped it and painted it green when we redid the entry way and stairway. We planned to sponge a darker green over that and he did that today. It looks REALLY GOOD! The new light fixtures are on order and we are not sure when they will be in. So we got that done and I got a huge load of food from Costco.
We have three friends over today. Giggles and Smiley are here for a few hours. Their parents have been watching our kids a lot lately, so Stud and I can attend regular sessions with our counselor and go on regular dates to try and re-connect. The kids have been having a good time. Right now, Giggles and Jock are playing Stratego. Smiley, Clown and our other friend Freckles (She is two months older than Clown and they have been best buds since infancy. Her Dad and Stud are best friends and carpool to work together every day) are outside playing some very loud imaginary game together. And Stud is watching TV. Freckles is staying over night. We have not had her sleep over for a long time, and it is long past due time to do so!
She is very pleased that I let her chose what to eat for supper. We ordered pizza! She wanted Giggles and Smiley to know that SHE chose that and she was beaming her adorable grin to anyone who was around. I will ask her parents if I can post some photos, I am sure they will say yes. Her Dad was keeping a blog before and he had pics of she and her little sister on it.
Alright, I am off of here for now. Will let you know about Princess and Brain's holiday soon and see what photos they took that I can post. Also more on my baby brother shortly.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Baby girl
Ok, that photo of the boys put me in mind of this one of Princess. This was from April of 2004, so she was three and a half. We had driven from here down to Disneyland. We stopped at my cousin's house that first night and the kids played with their second cousins for a while.
This was when we arrived at the hotel, from my cousin's. She and Jock are so similar in many ways, awkward sleeping positions amoung them:)
Clown wanted to talk to Brain, so I called my parents. My dad had to wake the goofball up! At after noon there. He sure is a typical teenager. He says he wants to stay another four months, this has not been long enough. He is mad that he has to leave in a few days.
Princess, on the other hand, is homesick. Which makes sense since she is only five and has traveled many places this summer. All of them without me with her, which she isn't too thrilled about. She is out with my mother right now, taking one of the foster babies to her physio therapy appointment. Later today, they are off to the park that our kids love to go to. Whenever they are in Saskatoon, they must go to this park. It has a carousel, pool, tiny ferris wheel, yummy treats and a train you can ride on. She still talks about three summers ago when my Dad shared her bubble gum ice cream with her and it was melting everywhere. Hey, I will post some pictures of that, too! teehee It was SO HOT out and this ice cream was all over everything!
So here she is with her Grandad.
Look! There is bubble gum in it!
See Granny??
Messy girl!
Alright, the boys and I are off to meet friends at the theatre and go see "Barnyard". I warned the boys that the male cattle have udders and to try and get past that and just enjoy the movie. Then we come back here to clean and de-clutter since we are getting new carpet in the master bedroom and the stairway next week. We need to get our room all cleaned out and all the furniture out of there by Tuesday. UGH! It will be worth it though:)
Have a great day everyone!
This was when we arrived at the hotel, from my cousin's. She and Jock are so similar in many ways, awkward sleeping positions amoung them:)
Clown wanted to talk to Brain, so I called my parents. My dad had to wake the goofball up! At after noon there. He sure is a typical teenager. He says he wants to stay another four months, this has not been long enough. He is mad that he has to leave in a few days.
Princess, on the other hand, is homesick. Which makes sense since she is only five and has traveled many places this summer. All of them without me with her, which she isn't too thrilled about. She is out with my mother right now, taking one of the foster babies to her physio therapy appointment. Later today, they are off to the park that our kids love to go to. Whenever they are in Saskatoon, they must go to this park. It has a carousel, pool, tiny ferris wheel, yummy treats and a train you can ride on. She still talks about three summers ago when my Dad shared her bubble gum ice cream with her and it was melting everywhere. Hey, I will post some pictures of that, too! teehee It was SO HOT out and this ice cream was all over everything!
So here she is with her Grandad.
Look! There is bubble gum in it!
See Granny??
Messy girl!
Alright, the boys and I are off to meet friends at the theatre and go see "Barnyard". I warned the boys that the male cattle have udders and to try and get past that and just enjoy the movie. Then we come back here to clean and de-clutter since we are getting new carpet in the master bedroom and the stairway next week. We need to get our room all cleaned out and all the furniture out of there by Tuesday. UGH! It will be worth it though:)
Have a great day everyone!
Our Three sons
During my search for photos of my little brother, I have come across some cute ones of our kids.
Just wanted to share this one of the three boys asleep on one of our 20 hour drives to my parents' in Saskatchewan.
I think this is so cute. It is from two years ago. Look at poor Jock! I can't imagine sleeping with my head at such an awkward angle.
Just wanted to share this one of the three boys asleep on one of our 20 hour drives to my parents' in Saskatchewan.
I think this is so cute. It is from two years ago. Look at poor Jock! I can't imagine sleeping with my head at such an awkward angle.
Monday, August 14, 2006
David Matthew
Ok, let's get a start on the posts on my baby brother. We will need to go back in time to the 1960's and 1970's first.
My mother gave birth to her four natural children in the space of four and a half years. My oldest brother was born in 1965. When he was 18 months old, my second brother was born six weeks prematurely. He had a blood transfusion at birth and was very sickly. When she took him for his six week check up, she discovered that she was pregnant with my third brother. What can I say, my parents were frisky! LOL He was born six weeks prior to the second boy's first birthday! Now they had three boys under the age of two and a half!
The largest age gap between kids is between myself and that third boy. I was born when he was 22 months old. They had planned to have at least eight children. But because my mother was 25 years old, with four kids under the age of 5, her body could not handle another pregnancy. There were other factors, if memory serves, but that one always sticks out in my mind. Needless to say, she was devastated and wanted more and more babies.
Fast forward to 1972. I was three years old when we got our first foster baby. That was the start of over thirty years of taking in foster children. Some we had for a weekend, others for as long as two years. We remember them all fondly. We have hundreds of photos and my mother kept records for a while. She had a notebook with a photo and a little write up about each child. After 90 kids, she could not keep up with it all! LOL
The ones we had for long periods, she always sent away with a book of their own, full of their art work and photos of all of us together. It was horrible having some of those kids leave. Some were adopted, some were placed back into care and some went back to their families. Over the years, we have had over 200 little sweety pies come in and out of our home.
As my parents got older, they went back to just babies. Easier on them. No more toddlers getting into everything and needing to be potty trained, etc. They had some "special needs" kids and that ended up being what they really loved.
In February of 1992, my parents got a call that would change our lives forever. There had been a little boy born with Cerebral Palsy and all kinds of other disabilities. He apparently had not much in the brain area and was thought to be blind, deaf and would be a "vegetable". The doctors said he would not live past his first birthday. His parents had three sons and did not feel like they could handle all of this one's special needs. We were always sad that anyone could make a choice like that, and did not understand. But as the years went by, we were grateful every day that they did make that choice and WE got to have our home and family blessed by that angelic little boy.
I wish I had an early photo to share. All the baby pictures of him are not digital of course and we don't have a scanner. Not a working one, anyway. I am hoping to post a slide show to share on here one day soon, perhaps within another post on him.
That is all I can do for now, can't see the screen anymore.
My mother gave birth to her four natural children in the space of four and a half years. My oldest brother was born in 1965. When he was 18 months old, my second brother was born six weeks prematurely. He had a blood transfusion at birth and was very sickly. When she took him for his six week check up, she discovered that she was pregnant with my third brother. What can I say, my parents were frisky! LOL He was born six weeks prior to the second boy's first birthday! Now they had three boys under the age of two and a half!
The largest age gap between kids is between myself and that third boy. I was born when he was 22 months old. They had planned to have at least eight children. But because my mother was 25 years old, with four kids under the age of 5, her body could not handle another pregnancy. There were other factors, if memory serves, but that one always sticks out in my mind. Needless to say, she was devastated and wanted more and more babies.
Fast forward to 1972. I was three years old when we got our first foster baby. That was the start of over thirty years of taking in foster children. Some we had for a weekend, others for as long as two years. We remember them all fondly. We have hundreds of photos and my mother kept records for a while. She had a notebook with a photo and a little write up about each child. After 90 kids, she could not keep up with it all! LOL
The ones we had for long periods, she always sent away with a book of their own, full of their art work and photos of all of us together. It was horrible having some of those kids leave. Some were adopted, some were placed back into care and some went back to their families. Over the years, we have had over 200 little sweety pies come in and out of our home.
As my parents got older, they went back to just babies. Easier on them. No more toddlers getting into everything and needing to be potty trained, etc. They had some "special needs" kids and that ended up being what they really loved.
In February of 1992, my parents got a call that would change our lives forever. There had been a little boy born with Cerebral Palsy and all kinds of other disabilities. He apparently had not much in the brain area and was thought to be blind, deaf and would be a "vegetable". The doctors said he would not live past his first birthday. His parents had three sons and did not feel like they could handle all of this one's special needs. We were always sad that anyone could make a choice like that, and did not understand. But as the years went by, we were grateful every day that they did make that choice and WE got to have our home and family blessed by that angelic little boy.
I wish I had an early photo to share. All the baby pictures of him are not digital of course and we don't have a scanner. Not a working one, anyway. I am hoping to post a slide show to share on here one day soon, perhaps within another post on him.
That is all I can do for now, can't see the screen anymore.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Family photos
My niece E let me know that she lives in Nova Scotia. I still can't believe I could not think of it!!! She was a bit surprised (as was I) that I did not mention that she also graduated from High School at age 16. I guess I thought I implied that she was young, since she is going into her second year of University and she just turned 18. Still, I did not make that clear. So there you are.
I will post some shots from two years ago, at a Family Reunion on my Dad's side. This was one year and one day before my little brother died. Boy, little did we know what heartache and pain the next August would bring us.
This is my nephew, S, with Princess. Note how similar his hair is to Brain's. Brain's is a bit more unruly and frizzy, like mine. But the little ringlets and curls are in both. We cut about eight inches off of Princess's hair shortly after this picture was taken. She had been begging us, and Stud and I could not bring ourselves to chop off those ringlets. They never have returned, just like we suspected:( But she was SO HOT all the time. We have cut off 16 more inches since then. She really has no trouble growing hair!
This is S's sister, E, holding my little brother, her uncle. We always love this trampoline at the place we hold the Reunions. Davy loved it, as you can maybe see by his face! There is a smaller younger Clown jumping on there also. Jock is there in the blue shirt and the yellow backed dude is my oldest brother, E, S and G's Dad. He is THE COOLEST:) He worked really hard at many jobs and school and trying to see his kids. His wife divorced him when G was not even a year old. He is now a social worker in Northern Saskatchewan. I couldn't do it. But that is an entirely different post.
This is my FAVOURITE picture ever taken of G and Princess! Isn't it cool?? Aren't they stunning???
The seven cousins with their Uncle. Who was younger than some and barely older than others. My brother's three kids basically grew up with him and had an even closer bond than my kids, of course. Since we don't get up there very often.
Stud and I with our babies, during happier times.
Ok, just wanted to post some of these. I need to get working on the post telling all about my sweet precious brother and showing Jude my before/after pictures of all the work we have done in the house here in the six years since we moved in.
Toodles! Off to eat my Jenny Craig lunch. Man, I have stuck to this perfectly and have not lost anything in almost a week. Is this normal, anyone know?? Will I suddenly drop a few more pounds and then the scale will stay the same and then suddenly a few more?? My pants are already loose and uncomfy, which is great. I really wanted to be about 8 lbs less than I am by the end of this month. I suppose that is still possible, eh??
Have a great day everyone!!!
I will post some shots from two years ago, at a Family Reunion on my Dad's side. This was one year and one day before my little brother died. Boy, little did we know what heartache and pain the next August would bring us.
This is my nephew, S, with Princess. Note how similar his hair is to Brain's. Brain's is a bit more unruly and frizzy, like mine. But the little ringlets and curls are in both. We cut about eight inches off of Princess's hair shortly after this picture was taken. She had been begging us, and Stud and I could not bring ourselves to chop off those ringlets. They never have returned, just like we suspected:( But she was SO HOT all the time. We have cut off 16 more inches since then. She really has no trouble growing hair!
This is S's sister, E, holding my little brother, her uncle. We always love this trampoline at the place we hold the Reunions. Davy loved it, as you can maybe see by his face! There is a smaller younger Clown jumping on there also. Jock is there in the blue shirt and the yellow backed dude is my oldest brother, E, S and G's Dad. He is THE COOLEST:) He worked really hard at many jobs and school and trying to see his kids. His wife divorced him when G was not even a year old. He is now a social worker in Northern Saskatchewan. I couldn't do it. But that is an entirely different post.
This is my FAVOURITE picture ever taken of G and Princess! Isn't it cool?? Aren't they stunning???
The seven cousins with their Uncle. Who was younger than some and barely older than others. My brother's three kids basically grew up with him and had an even closer bond than my kids, of course. Since we don't get up there very often.
Stud and I with our babies, during happier times.
Ok, just wanted to post some of these. I need to get working on the post telling all about my sweet precious brother and showing Jude my before/after pictures of all the work we have done in the house here in the six years since we moved in.
Toodles! Off to eat my Jenny Craig lunch. Man, I have stuck to this perfectly and have not lost anything in almost a week. Is this normal, anyone know?? Will I suddenly drop a few more pounds and then the scale will stay the same and then suddenly a few more?? My pants are already loose and uncomfy, which is great. I really wanted to be about 8 lbs less than I am by the end of this month. I suppose that is still possible, eh??
Have a great day everyone!!!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Picnic
Well, yesterday I packed Jock and Clown up and we drove down to meet Stud for a picnic in the park near his office. I had no idea there was a park there until he suggested it!!!! We will certainly do this more often.
I hope Stud enjoyed himself as much as the kids and I did. It was SO PRETTY!
Brain and Princess were both sick the day everyone went to my brother's grave. So they could not go:( Granny says they will take them at some point before they leave to come back home here. Princess especially, feels the need to go. I am expecting Brain may change his mind, but we shall see.
They are having a great time with their two older cousins. My oldest brother has three kids. A nineteen year old son, who lives in NY state and is starting his 4th year at Vassar College. He graduated from high school when he was 16, just like my Dad did. He is not in Canada now, he is working and only had two weeks off. So they won't see him this summer:(
Then there is an 18 year old daughter who is starting her second year at Acadia University in...hmmmmmmm...where was that again?? Out East. Dern, I can't think of the province, aren't I horrible!?!? What province do you live in, E??? LOL I know she reads this:)
Anyway, they both graduated from a nice school in Costa Rica. Him in 2003 and her last year. My brother and I flew down to CR for his son's Grad, but E did not want us to, so we did not go last year. Then the third daughter is going into grade 11 at her school in Damascus, Syria. This is her fourth year there. Their mother teaches at international schools. They have lived in Egypt, Costa Rica and now Syria. They have traveled to over 30 countries and backpacked through Europe, etc. So those two, the 18 and 16 year old girls are there with Brain and Princess.
G, the 16 year old, leaves for Syria again soon:( So they only have today left to spend with her. I talked with them on the phone last night and G was helping Princess with something. They are making something for me, apparently. I am so excited to see it, this niece is incredibly talented and creative!!! She also gave Princess some "dangly" earrings to go with this one dress Princess has. I will post a picture of her in her "rainbow dress". G called me last night to ask if it was alright to give these to Princess, because they will go so perfectly:)
I am hoping to get Clown and Jock to get up soon and then we are off to get some shopping done and go for a bike ride.
OH! I started Jenny Craig about ten days ago and it appears I have lost about eight pounds:) I am SO EXCITED! Only 28 more to go to get to my goal weight:) teehee This food is GOOD and it is SO EASY. The only thing I don't like, is how expensive it is. I have been meaning to start for months, but did not want to spend the money. I am already glad that I did:)
Ok, here will be a photo of Princess soon before she left for Canada, making Cookies in her "rainbow dress".
Oh no, seeing these makes me miss the little fart even more!!
I hope Stud enjoyed himself as much as the kids and I did. It was SO PRETTY!
Brain and Princess were both sick the day everyone went to my brother's grave. So they could not go:( Granny says they will take them at some point before they leave to come back home here. Princess especially, feels the need to go. I am expecting Brain may change his mind, but we shall see.
They are having a great time with their two older cousins. My oldest brother has three kids. A nineteen year old son, who lives in NY state and is starting his 4th year at Vassar College. He graduated from high school when he was 16, just like my Dad did. He is not in Canada now, he is working and only had two weeks off. So they won't see him this summer:(
Then there is an 18 year old daughter who is starting her second year at Acadia University in...hmmmmmmm...where was that again?? Out East. Dern, I can't think of the province, aren't I horrible!?!? What province do you live in, E??? LOL I know she reads this:)
Anyway, they both graduated from a nice school in Costa Rica. Him in 2003 and her last year. My brother and I flew down to CR for his son's Grad, but E did not want us to, so we did not go last year. Then the third daughter is going into grade 11 at her school in Damascus, Syria. This is her fourth year there. Their mother teaches at international schools. They have lived in Egypt, Costa Rica and now Syria. They have traveled to over 30 countries and backpacked through Europe, etc. So those two, the 18 and 16 year old girls are there with Brain and Princess.
G, the 16 year old, leaves for Syria again soon:( So they only have today left to spend with her. I talked with them on the phone last night and G was helping Princess with something. They are making something for me, apparently. I am so excited to see it, this niece is incredibly talented and creative!!! She also gave Princess some "dangly" earrings to go with this one dress Princess has. I will post a picture of her in her "rainbow dress". G called me last night to ask if it was alright to give these to Princess, because they will go so perfectly:)
I am hoping to get Clown and Jock to get up soon and then we are off to get some shopping done and go for a bike ride.
OH! I started Jenny Craig about ten days ago and it appears I have lost about eight pounds:) I am SO EXCITED! Only 28 more to go to get to my goal weight:) teehee This food is GOOD and it is SO EASY. The only thing I don't like, is how expensive it is. I have been meaning to start for months, but did not want to spend the money. I am already glad that I did:)
Ok, here will be a photo of Princess soon before she left for Canada, making Cookies in her "rainbow dress".
Oh no, seeing these makes me miss the little fart even more!!
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Trip to beloved Canada
As I said earlier, Brain and Princess left on Friday for Canada. What a fiasco!
We were not sure who all was going. Jock and Clown did not want to go for the same reasons I could not go. They also did not want to go if I was not with them. I could not go. I thought I could, but when it came down to it, I could not. I have not been dealing with my brother's death very well. To go back there, right around when he died...nope. NO thanks. Way too traumatic. Part of me thinks I should have gone, to help me heal. They all went today to put a cross on his grave. We buried him a year ago yesterday. They could not go until today. I may try to fly up in a few months, but I can't go now. GREAT! I am bawling now. Crud. I did not want to get weepy. I will have to post about him soon, I feel it all coming.
Anyway, Brain is determined to go no matter what. He has such a bond with my family and wishes to live there often. He just adores it, it is almost like some magical place to him or something. Princess ADORES my parents and SIL and is especially fond of the laundry chute my parents have in their new house. Seriously, like right when they got there and Brain called me, Princess was instructing her Tia (my SIL) to go down in the laundry room so that she could dump laundry on her head. She had done that by mistake this past Christmas to my mother and got such a kick out of it! LOL So she was busy having fun with that and could not talk to me right away. The things that please kids, eh????
Brain was a nervous wreck. He has flown countless times since he was a baby, but never without me. I did not pay extra for a chaperone, because the dude will be 14 in November. I think he can handle getting off a plane, looking for "Baggage Claim" and meeting my brother there.
Guess not. He was almost vomitting, he was so worked up! He asked me to pray with him, right there by the gate. I went on a bit and when I said "Amen" and opened my eyes, the gatekeeper dude was standing there looking very uncomfortable. Aw well, Brain felt a bit better. He was not worried about flying at all, but getting lost when they landed in Calgary. As it turned out, a flight attendent offered to take him to baggage claim, where he and Princess were reunited with his Tio (Uncle, for those who do not know Spanish:)! Just in case!) and all was well.
I felt SO BAD for said Tio, though. They missed their flight and he was at the airport FREAKING OUT wondering where they were. He called our oldest brother, who was at our parents' house. I was speaking to my niece after the fact(the oldest's 16 year old daughter) and she said that she was scared to death when her Dad was talking to our brother in Calgary. He called and was telling the oldest one how my kids were not there. My niece said her Dad's voice got all choked up and he seemed incredibly upset and worried. She said she started panicking also, seeing her Dad that way. She was so worried something bad had happened. I think we are all very traumatized since my brother died last summer. All of us found out over the phone. I will post about it soon. Anyway, the brother in Calgary told the brother in Saskatoon not to tell our mother and get her worried. LOL So of course he went right to our mother and was like, "R says Brain and Princess are not there. He is pretty panicked!" The poor people. Let me explain.
When I was driving the kids up there, we got through the border just fine. There was a bit of a hitch when I could not locate the letter Stud wrote, saying I had his permission to take his children out of the country. I could not find it and was shocked that she let me go anyway. I was actually not impressed with that, but grateful since we were pressed for time. I KNEW I had the letter right there, and about two minutes later, sure enough! We found it right stuck between my seat and the console thingy of the car. ARG!
So that was not a problem, but once we got up further, towards Vancouver, it was obvious we would miss the flight. It took us ONE HOUR to travel ONE KILOMETRE!?!?!? They have these stupid lanes with red X's and green arrows. There were hundreds of cars in four or five lanes, all being pushed into one lone lane. This took an hour. Once I saw there was no way we would make it, I called Stud and told him to call my brother before he left for the airport (There is an hour time difference between here and Alberta and the flight is only an hour. So I knew my brother would be leaving soon.) and then please call WestJet and see what we could do about a later flight. I did not have my bro's cell phone # with me, it was in the trunk in Brain's backpack with some loonies so he could call his Uncle if he needed to once they landed.
Instead, Stud called WestJet first. By the time Stud called my brother, he had left for the airport!! ARG!!! LOL I am still not sure if he and his wife and baby went back home and heard the message, or what happened.
Anyway, the kids and I arrived at the airport THIRTEEN minutes after their original flight would have been closing the doors and pulling out of the gate. *sigh* So I exchanged some American money, gave the flying kids some Canadian cash and then we ate something. We were going to get our favourite drinks from Tim Horton's (a yummy doughnut/sandwich/coffee place for all you non-Canadians:)!! teehee) but the kids were in the mood for pizza, so we had Pizza Hut.
Brain looked around, commenting to his sibs about how awesome Canada is. Just look at a simple airport, he said. Look at how much nicer it is than Sea-Tac or other ones we have been to. Look at all the artwork and food places and fun stores. The food in Canada is better, it is prettier, cleaner, etc. They just nodded and agreed and smiled at me. We often have to sit and listen to Brain go on and on about how much he loves Canada. As scared as he was to fly without us, he was willing to do it to be in that country and see his mother's family.
Sorry that is so out of order. I am more muddled than usual!
Princess is having fun with the two foster babies that her my parents have right at the moment. In their sixties and still taking in foster kids. They have done that since I was three years old and love it! She is enjoying that and having time with her new cousin who she and Brain just met. Wee Mr. J is not so wee anymore. He is only six weeks old now and such a big chunky guy! Sure wish I could post photos! ARG!
Stud, Jock and Clown are out sleeping in a tent in the backyard. They love that and Stud remembered how they love it every summer and set it up last week. The kids were so thrilled!!!! The four guys had a good time out there before Brain and Princess left on holiday, and Princess was able to sleep with me in our bed. She was going to sleep with them, but chickened out at the last minute. We were all six going to sleep out there, but Stud realised there was not enough room after all.
So they are out there and I am off to bed.
I will close with a few photos from the SC trip. Jock with a fish he caught, the kids with their great-grandmother and a frog on the outside of the lakehouse.
Good night all!!!
We were not sure who all was going. Jock and Clown did not want to go for the same reasons I could not go. They also did not want to go if I was not with them. I could not go. I thought I could, but when it came down to it, I could not. I have not been dealing with my brother's death very well. To go back there, right around when he died...nope. NO thanks. Way too traumatic. Part of me thinks I should have gone, to help me heal. They all went today to put a cross on his grave. We buried him a year ago yesterday. They could not go until today. I may try to fly up in a few months, but I can't go now. GREAT! I am bawling now. Crud. I did not want to get weepy. I will have to post about him soon, I feel it all coming.
Anyway, Brain is determined to go no matter what. He has such a bond with my family and wishes to live there often. He just adores it, it is almost like some magical place to him or something. Princess ADORES my parents and SIL and is especially fond of the laundry chute my parents have in their new house. Seriously, like right when they got there and Brain called me, Princess was instructing her Tia (my SIL) to go down in the laundry room so that she could dump laundry on her head. She had done that by mistake this past Christmas to my mother and got such a kick out of it! LOL So she was busy having fun with that and could not talk to me right away. The things that please kids, eh????
Brain was a nervous wreck. He has flown countless times since he was a baby, but never without me. I did not pay extra for a chaperone, because the dude will be 14 in November. I think he can handle getting off a plane, looking for "Baggage Claim" and meeting my brother there.
Guess not. He was almost vomitting, he was so worked up! He asked me to pray with him, right there by the gate. I went on a bit and when I said "Amen" and opened my eyes, the gatekeeper dude was standing there looking very uncomfortable. Aw well, Brain felt a bit better. He was not worried about flying at all, but getting lost when they landed in Calgary. As it turned out, a flight attendent offered to take him to baggage claim, where he and Princess were reunited with his Tio (Uncle, for those who do not know Spanish:)! Just in case!) and all was well.
I felt SO BAD for said Tio, though. They missed their flight and he was at the airport FREAKING OUT wondering where they were. He called our oldest brother, who was at our parents' house. I was speaking to my niece after the fact(the oldest's 16 year old daughter) and she said that she was scared to death when her Dad was talking to our brother in Calgary. He called and was telling the oldest one how my kids were not there. My niece said her Dad's voice got all choked up and he seemed incredibly upset and worried. She said she started panicking also, seeing her Dad that way. She was so worried something bad had happened. I think we are all very traumatized since my brother died last summer. All of us found out over the phone. I will post about it soon. Anyway, the brother in Calgary told the brother in Saskatoon not to tell our mother and get her worried. LOL So of course he went right to our mother and was like, "R says Brain and Princess are not there. He is pretty panicked!" The poor people. Let me explain.
When I was driving the kids up there, we got through the border just fine. There was a bit of a hitch when I could not locate the letter Stud wrote, saying I had his permission to take his children out of the country. I could not find it and was shocked that she let me go anyway. I was actually not impressed with that, but grateful since we were pressed for time. I KNEW I had the letter right there, and about two minutes later, sure enough! We found it right stuck between my seat and the console thingy of the car. ARG!
So that was not a problem, but once we got up further, towards Vancouver, it was obvious we would miss the flight. It took us ONE HOUR to travel ONE KILOMETRE!?!?!? They have these stupid lanes with red X's and green arrows. There were hundreds of cars in four or five lanes, all being pushed into one lone lane. This took an hour. Once I saw there was no way we would make it, I called Stud and told him to call my brother before he left for the airport (There is an hour time difference between here and Alberta and the flight is only an hour. So I knew my brother would be leaving soon.) and then please call WestJet and see what we could do about a later flight. I did not have my bro's cell phone # with me, it was in the trunk in Brain's backpack with some loonies so he could call his Uncle if he needed to once they landed.
Instead, Stud called WestJet first. By the time Stud called my brother, he had left for the airport!! ARG!!! LOL I am still not sure if he and his wife and baby went back home and heard the message, or what happened.
Anyway, the kids and I arrived at the airport THIRTEEN minutes after their original flight would have been closing the doors and pulling out of the gate. *sigh* So I exchanged some American money, gave the flying kids some Canadian cash and then we ate something. We were going to get our favourite drinks from Tim Horton's (a yummy doughnut/sandwich/coffee place for all you non-Canadians:)!! teehee) but the kids were in the mood for pizza, so we had Pizza Hut.
Brain looked around, commenting to his sibs about how awesome Canada is. Just look at a simple airport, he said. Look at how much nicer it is than Sea-Tac or other ones we have been to. Look at all the artwork and food places and fun stores. The food in Canada is better, it is prettier, cleaner, etc. They just nodded and agreed and smiled at me. We often have to sit and listen to Brain go on and on about how much he loves Canada. As scared as he was to fly without us, he was willing to do it to be in that country and see his mother's family.
Sorry that is so out of order. I am more muddled than usual!
Princess is having fun with the two foster babies that her my parents have right at the moment. In their sixties and still taking in foster kids. They have done that since I was three years old and love it! She is enjoying that and having time with her new cousin who she and Brain just met. Wee Mr. J is not so wee anymore. He is only six weeks old now and such a big chunky guy! Sure wish I could post photos! ARG!
Stud, Jock and Clown are out sleeping in a tent in the backyard. They love that and Stud remembered how they love it every summer and set it up last week. The kids were so thrilled!!!! The four guys had a good time out there before Brain and Princess left on holiday, and Princess was able to sleep with me in our bed. She was going to sleep with them, but chickened out at the last minute. We were all six going to sleep out there, but Stud realised there was not enough room after all.
So they are out there and I am off to bed.
I will close with a few photos from the SC trip. Jock with a fish he caught, the kids with their great-grandmother and a frog on the outside of the lakehouse.
Good night all!!!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Explanation
Alright, I will explain as best I can what has been going on lately. I am quite upset and my hands are shaking as I type. I will correct as many typos as I can.
I need to backtrack a bit. Stud and I met on the internet in 1988. I was attending the U of R (University of Regina) in Regina, Sask. Canada. He was attending Clemson in South Carolina. We started talking in August of 1988 (Eighteen years ago!?!? I feel SO OLD!!!) and he flew up in December of that year for us to meet in person. I flew down in April of 1989 for three weeks. He flew up again in July for about a week and then in December, when we were married in Saskatoon. Our relationship consisted of those visits, talking often on the phone and some letters. Not your typical courtship.
Stud had a very close friend all through high school. We shall call her "M". He raved about her all the time. He had pictures of her on his bulletin board and carried a photo of her in his wallet for many years. He may actually still have it in here, I am not sure. I met her a few times and I really liked her. We had a few laughs and I thought she was cool. I can't remember if we spent more time together after Stud and I were married and I moved down there, or during my three week trip in the Spring of 1989.
We moved up here in 1991. The plan had always been to settle in Canada. He had told me whether we ended up together or not, he wanted to live in Canada. Which I found odd since he never made much attempt at getting a job up there. Anyway, we settled here as a compromise. Not Canada, not South Carolina.
Brain was born in 1992 and Jock in 1995. In 1997, when Jock was almost two, we moved back to SC. Stud thought it best if our children grew up near family. Soon after we moved there, M called me (I think. Maybe Stud asked me to call her, not sure. I am certain she called me, though) and asked if Stud and I were going to their ten year High School Reunion. They actually graduated in '86, but were having the ten year in 1997. I talked to her a bit. She was married and due with her first child at this time. Stud and I ended up not going and I am not sure if she and her hubby went or not.
We lived there until 2000. I never heard from her again. I asked Stud a few times while we lived there if we were going to go visit her, meet her baby etc. He never seemed interested. Once we moved back here in 2000, I would ask sometimes when we went back down for visits. Are we going to try to see M??? He said there would be no time. I was kind of confused by it. I found it odd that if they were such good buddies, they would not make more of an effort to keep in touch. I knew I would, and just thought how men are different and I guess I won't press the issue. If he wants us to visit her, he will make it happen.
This past winter, he told me that he saw her on the classmates thingy that he looks at sometimes. He contacted her and they were e-mailing. He said he was worried, she had not mentioned her hubby. Soon, she told him that she and her hubby had recently divorced. Which was what Stud was suspecting and worried about. We thought how sad that was. I told him to tell her I was sorry and that I said hi and was thinking about her.
For about a month, he would come home and tell me briefly the latest from her. Soon, the updates stopped. I asked him when I thought of it (every month or three weeks, I suppose) how is M doing?? You have not mentioned her. He said he was busy at work and had been meaning to get in touch, but had not. He would soon and then update me when he did. This went on for about 4 or 5 months, still apparently no contact with her.
About a month before he and kids were leaving for SC, I thought "OH! Stud should visit with M when he is down there. He has not seen her in so long, that would be cool." Then I forgot about it. A few days later, I did ask him something along the lines of how is she and has he heard from her. He maintained he had been busy and had not heard anything in a long time.
He and the kids had been in SC about three days when I got an e-mail from him saying that he and M had met for lunch. I was glad for him and asked how she was, etc. He also said that he and his mother were taking our kids to the lakehouse that day (Friday, July 21st) and his sister could not come because she was due with her baby any day. The plan had never been for them to be there then. When he had talked about the lakehouse plans, he always maintained they were not going until Sunday afternoon. I remember he was annoyed, because I would suggest they go earlier, so the kids could have even more time there. He got very short with me when I suggested that.
That night I called him at the lake house and he acted odd immediately. I asked him what they were doing and who all ended up going. He said he and our kids, his mother and M and her kids. My immediate respsonse was "Why didn't I even think of that?? Now our kids will have some kids to play with, how fun!?!?"
Within a few seconds, something pricked somewhere in my mind. I was thinking..."wait a minute. Something seems a bit off. If they had not been in touch at all, this all seems a bit sudden here. Lunch and now this...weird..." So I asked him something along the lines of "Was this planned before you left home??" He confirmed, yes, it had been planned for some time. He was whispering to someone, they whispered back and then a door closed. Something just seemed weird and secretive.
I got off the phone and my friend D, who was here from Spokane, looked at my face and immediately knew something was wrong. I told her what the deal was and she admitted it seemed odd, but we were both sure there was some explanation.
Turns out they stayed Friday AND Saturday night because Stud's mother's car broke down when they were trying to leave Saturday afternoon. I am still confused as to why no one else could come and get them (their home is about 90 minutes away from the lake) and why they had to stay another night. But whatever.
So when I was talking to Stud about that problem on Saturday night, all of a sudden I heard a voice in my head say "Ask him where everyone is sleeping." I thought that was silly, and brushed it aside and talked about other things. But the idea of where they slept would not leave. I prepared myself for what he said. It still felt like a slap to the face, though.
He said that he and M slept in the guest room together, each in their own queen sized bed with their five year old daughters. Her nine year old son, Clown and Jock all slept out in the Living Room and his mother in a King sized bed in the Master Bedroom. I found that not only amazingly inappropriate, but was surprised by something. Stud avoids sleeping with our kids at all costs. If they ask to sleep with us, he gets mad and goes to a couch or makes them feel sad and they just go to their room and don't sleep with us. He HATES sleeping with our kids and doesn't hide that fact. So to hear that he volunteered (I later found out he is the one who suggested the sleeping arrangements) to sleep with Princess, was very bizarre.
He claims I over analyze things. To a degree he is right. I feel I have no choice, most of the time. Being married to a guy who does not speak to me really, I have to guess and press and ask question after question to get the most simple explanation of anything. He feels interrogated by this. I have begged him for years to just TALK TO ME and I won't feel the need to make assumptions, and second guess things all the time.
Anyway, once I found that out, I was pretty upset. Couldn't eat really. Wasn't sleeping because of the heat, but on Saturday night when I laid down to try and sleep, I kept thinking over and over in my mind, "Right at this moment, Stud is sleeping in the same room as another woman. Our children know this, I wonder how this will effect them and what they think of it. Here is yet ANOTHER example of how disrespectful he is to me."
Found out also that lunch, was not lunch out, but alone at her house. Her kids were nowhere (Stud says he doesn't even know where) and he did not even tell our kids where he was going or THAT he was going anywhere. They asked his mother a while after they noticed that he was gone. Jock tells me that one night before that (he can't remember if it was the night they got there (Tuesday) or Wednesday night, Stud also went to see M. He said he would be gone for half an hour and Jock fell asleep before he got back. In the morning, his mother said something to him along the lines of "You were gone a lot longer than half an hour last night." and Stud just shrugged and smiled.
Stud told me since that he only went for lunch, he went nowhere at night. However, he is not an honest person, so unfortunately, I will believe my children who were there and witnessed this, over someone who has often kept things from me and been dishonest. I still have NO IDEA why he has always felt the need to lie and keep information from me. It has always hurt me deeply and counselors have tried to get him to figure out why he does it. The worst part is that he is in denial about that. Had a gift of turning it around and making me question myself and doubt myself. As the years have gone by, I have become better and no longer doubt myself as much as I had been. I have not asked the children a lot of questions, I do not want to be that kind of person. Thankfully, I have not needed to. They have come to me with many concerns.
Jock called me very upset the night before they came home. He said his Dad was going places with M a lot and that he was VERY nice to her. I asked what he meant by very nice and he was trying not to cry. He said, "He just talks to her a lot nicer than he does you. He isn't mean to her AT ALL. And they sit together a lot and are always touching each other and just really friendly." Then he whispered "Mum...they slept in the SAME ROOM."
I told him I knew that and how did that make him feel. I could just see his precious face and his teeth gritted together when he spit out, "I DON'T LIKE IT." I told him could tell me anything that was bothering him when he got home and to not worry, Daddy and I would deal with it. Then he said, "I am seeing...other things." He wouldn't tell me what he meant and he had to go, lots of people were coming in and out of the room he was in. I tell you, I was LIVID that Stud put Jock through this. If he wants to act inappropriately, he does NOT need to involve our precious innocent children.
So, now for the short part. I have been unhappy in our relationship for years. From day one, Stud has been incredibly self absorbed. Thankfully, he never hesitates to admit that fact. During the years before children, I worked at least two jobs at a time. He was always out with friends, going to bars late and wanting me to come with him, even though that is not my scene at all. He would spend the night at people's houses, not call to let me know what was happening, etc. I did not have my driver's license until Brain was a baby, so I relied totally on Stud, or walking, bus or biking, to get myself places. So many times, Stud would "Forget" to pick me up from one of my jobs and I would arrive home drenched from walking in the rain to find him playing video games with his buddies.
When the children came along, he says he felt ignored. I laugh thinking back at it now. We always planned on having kids, but I had Brain when I did, BECAUSE I wanted some attention, someone to take care of and something to do other than work back breaking jobs all the time. I didn't realise at the time that was my reasoning, but looking back I see it now. I was incredibly lonely. I had left my country and family, only to be ignored and I felt, used. I had hot meals ready, kept the place clean and was good for sex. So I was confused later, when I devoted myself to the people who paid me attention, needed me, and LOVED me, that he felt ignored?? He had me before and never gave me the time of day. Why was he suddenly jealous of some small innocent people???
Stud has some valid points. I am not as physically affectionate with him as he needs. He says that nothing he does is ever good enough. I can understand him feeling this way. The thing is, I have BEGGED him for years to tell me how he feels, tell me what I am doing wrong or what he needs from me, and he has acted totally caught off guard and said things are awesome, nothing at all is wrong. I have told him it is wrong for me, this is how I feel...yadda yadda. For a few days it seems he tries to be nicer but it never lasts long at all.
He says I judge him and M does not. She just listens. Well, if dude WOULD TALK TO ME, I would listen also. One of my main frustrations has been that he refuses to talk or open up, tell me about ANYTHING. When he does talk to me, it is to talk down to me. He is AMAZINGLY condescending and demeaning. Many people have pointed it out over the years and we have actually lost friends because they are so uncomfortable seeing how he talks to me. Obviously, I am guilty too. It is not just him. I am convinced that it is a defense mechanism that I developed to deal with the painful things he has said and done. Doesn't make it right and I am not excusing myself. Just stating a fact. M listens because she doesn't have SIXTEEN years of pain and frustration built up. Of course she will listen?!?
Anyway, finally in our counseling on Friday he admitted that he may not want to stay married. I have often fantasized over the years about what it would be like to be "free" and not live with the constant walking on egg shells. So I admit to being quite excited and relieved at the idea. Jock has asked me off and on for the past three or four years to divorce his Dad. He adores him, but Stud is really in his own little world much of the time. When he comes out of it he is also quite controlling and just honestly out for himself. I could give countless examples, but I won't. At least not right now.
He says he wants to be a bachelor again. He doesn't want to fight over the kids, which is great. He is just now getting in touch with how he feels about things and needs time to get used to these feelings. Turns out he calls M from the office and his cell phone fairly regularly. He won't tell me how often. He deleted all the e-mails between them and then had me waste about 20 minutes the other night looking for them. Then went through a big production about him searching and then finally admitted, "OH, I guess I did delete them after all." Just another example of the mind games and control he enjoys. He reads my e-mail. Read through everything I said to anyone about any of it. I have always told him exactly how I feel and do not hide things from him. That is all I have ever wanted from him, but he is incapable of it for some reason. I am sure nothing physical is even going on with he and M, they are just there for each other emotionally (which of course for me, a woman, is just as bad. Especially when I have BEGGED for years and tried to be there for him and he refused) but he loves to just play games with me and make me wonder. Very cruel.
Man, I had guys all over me all the time 35 pounds ago. I was constantly being flirted with and asked to go out, even though it was no secret I was married. They didn't care. And they were relentless, they DID NOT GIVE UP. At least guys I worked with. Other guys who I didn't know, like just guys in the street or whatever, even when I was with my little kids, would come talk to me and ask me stuff and whistle and come right out and say how great they thought I looked. I just never even considered it. I knew, especially as emotionally neglected as I was, if I went anywhere with any of my guy co-workers, I may cave in and do something bad and wrong. It is like the dude in the bible who was being tempted by that woman to sleep with him. He ran! That is what I did. You run from temptation, you don't purposely put yourself IN IT.
Even now, still. Guys look at me sometimes. Jock notices it more than me. He used to ask why that man was looking at me and smiling. I told him I wasn't sure. Now he just grins and says, "Another guy was checking you out, Mum. See that guy, he keeps smiling at you and nodding his head. I think he wants you to notice him or something." He thinks it is hilarious and really seems to get a kick out of it. I always think it must be because I have a booger hanging out of my nose or something. I never have had self confidence. It always annoyed Stud, too. Jock gets annoyed at me too and tells me I am pretty and that is why the guys look and smile. I guess there must be some truth to that. So that is great, whatever. When I was young and had them all over me, I didn't do anything. Stud is almost 40, you would think he would know better than to put himself in situations like he does. This is not the only incident. I had to call our Pastor a few years ago and ask him to talk to Stud because of inappropriate behaviour with another woman AT OUR HOUSE during weekly bible studies!?!?! *sigh*
So, we are not sure what we are going to do. At first, when Stud came back and was honestly telling me how he felt about M, I felt so relieved and happy. I was glad he was being honest. It was hard to hear, but I always just wanted honesty. He told me he has been talking to his Mom, sister, even his ex-fiance for crying out loud! But not me. The ONE PERSON who can do anything to fix it. That is hurtful and VERY frustrating since I KNEW he was feeling that way. You just don't treat people the way he treats me, if you loved and care about them. So I am confused about some things, but I was just glad he was being honest. I told him, now I feel connected. I always just wanted a connection. I felt SO good about him and was just really hopeful about things and felt more devoted and wanted to be a good wife and dote on him again like I used to etc.
Then, more lies again. The weird game about the e-mail. Just still being secretive. I refuse to live that way. So we will see where this goes. I DO NOT want my kids to be a product of divorce. I think that is SO SAD. Yet, I don't deserve to go through life always wondering what is going on, what is he doing, is he lying to me again about some silly little thing?? The thing that upsets me the most, is that he involved our kids in behaving the way he did when he was there. What a horrible thing to do. Jock is SO HURT and upset seeing his mother disrespected even more. *sigh*
So there you are. Stud is now back from riding on his motorcycle and we are off to shop for some things at Target. He told me it was fine for me to write how I feel on my blog. I wasn't sure if I was going to or not, but this is pretty huge and life altering.
Of course I will update you all. Thanks for listening and caring:)
Watch for some photos from their trip to SC shortly!
I need to backtrack a bit. Stud and I met on the internet in 1988. I was attending the U of R (University of Regina) in Regina, Sask. Canada. He was attending Clemson in South Carolina. We started talking in August of 1988 (Eighteen years ago!?!? I feel SO OLD!!!) and he flew up in December of that year for us to meet in person. I flew down in April of 1989 for three weeks. He flew up again in July for about a week and then in December, when we were married in Saskatoon. Our relationship consisted of those visits, talking often on the phone and some letters. Not your typical courtship.
Stud had a very close friend all through high school. We shall call her "M". He raved about her all the time. He had pictures of her on his bulletin board and carried a photo of her in his wallet for many years. He may actually still have it in here, I am not sure. I met her a few times and I really liked her. We had a few laughs and I thought she was cool. I can't remember if we spent more time together after Stud and I were married and I moved down there, or during my three week trip in the Spring of 1989.
We moved up here in 1991. The plan had always been to settle in Canada. He had told me whether we ended up together or not, he wanted to live in Canada. Which I found odd since he never made much attempt at getting a job up there. Anyway, we settled here as a compromise. Not Canada, not South Carolina.
Brain was born in 1992 and Jock in 1995. In 1997, when Jock was almost two, we moved back to SC. Stud thought it best if our children grew up near family. Soon after we moved there, M called me (I think. Maybe Stud asked me to call her, not sure. I am certain she called me, though) and asked if Stud and I were going to their ten year High School Reunion. They actually graduated in '86, but were having the ten year in 1997. I talked to her a bit. She was married and due with her first child at this time. Stud and I ended up not going and I am not sure if she and her hubby went or not.
We lived there until 2000. I never heard from her again. I asked Stud a few times while we lived there if we were going to go visit her, meet her baby etc. He never seemed interested. Once we moved back here in 2000, I would ask sometimes when we went back down for visits. Are we going to try to see M??? He said there would be no time. I was kind of confused by it. I found it odd that if they were such good buddies, they would not make more of an effort to keep in touch. I knew I would, and just thought how men are different and I guess I won't press the issue. If he wants us to visit her, he will make it happen.
This past winter, he told me that he saw her on the classmates thingy that he looks at sometimes. He contacted her and they were e-mailing. He said he was worried, she had not mentioned her hubby. Soon, she told him that she and her hubby had recently divorced. Which was what Stud was suspecting and worried about. We thought how sad that was. I told him to tell her I was sorry and that I said hi and was thinking about her.
For about a month, he would come home and tell me briefly the latest from her. Soon, the updates stopped. I asked him when I thought of it (every month or three weeks, I suppose) how is M doing?? You have not mentioned her. He said he was busy at work and had been meaning to get in touch, but had not. He would soon and then update me when he did. This went on for about 4 or 5 months, still apparently no contact with her.
About a month before he and kids were leaving for SC, I thought "OH! Stud should visit with M when he is down there. He has not seen her in so long, that would be cool." Then I forgot about it. A few days later, I did ask him something along the lines of how is she and has he heard from her. He maintained he had been busy and had not heard anything in a long time.
He and the kids had been in SC about three days when I got an e-mail from him saying that he and M had met for lunch. I was glad for him and asked how she was, etc. He also said that he and his mother were taking our kids to the lakehouse that day (Friday, July 21st) and his sister could not come because she was due with her baby any day. The plan had never been for them to be there then. When he had talked about the lakehouse plans, he always maintained they were not going until Sunday afternoon. I remember he was annoyed, because I would suggest they go earlier, so the kids could have even more time there. He got very short with me when I suggested that.
That night I called him at the lake house and he acted odd immediately. I asked him what they were doing and who all ended up going. He said he and our kids, his mother and M and her kids. My immediate respsonse was "Why didn't I even think of that?? Now our kids will have some kids to play with, how fun!?!?"
Within a few seconds, something pricked somewhere in my mind. I was thinking..."wait a minute. Something seems a bit off. If they had not been in touch at all, this all seems a bit sudden here. Lunch and now this...weird..." So I asked him something along the lines of "Was this planned before you left home??" He confirmed, yes, it had been planned for some time. He was whispering to someone, they whispered back and then a door closed. Something just seemed weird and secretive.
I got off the phone and my friend D, who was here from Spokane, looked at my face and immediately knew something was wrong. I told her what the deal was and she admitted it seemed odd, but we were both sure there was some explanation.
Turns out they stayed Friday AND Saturday night because Stud's mother's car broke down when they were trying to leave Saturday afternoon. I am still confused as to why no one else could come and get them (their home is about 90 minutes away from the lake) and why they had to stay another night. But whatever.
So when I was talking to Stud about that problem on Saturday night, all of a sudden I heard a voice in my head say "Ask him where everyone is sleeping." I thought that was silly, and brushed it aside and talked about other things. But the idea of where they slept would not leave. I prepared myself for what he said. It still felt like a slap to the face, though.
He said that he and M slept in the guest room together, each in their own queen sized bed with their five year old daughters. Her nine year old son, Clown and Jock all slept out in the Living Room and his mother in a King sized bed in the Master Bedroom. I found that not only amazingly inappropriate, but was surprised by something. Stud avoids sleeping with our kids at all costs. If they ask to sleep with us, he gets mad and goes to a couch or makes them feel sad and they just go to their room and don't sleep with us. He HATES sleeping with our kids and doesn't hide that fact. So to hear that he volunteered (I later found out he is the one who suggested the sleeping arrangements) to sleep with Princess, was very bizarre.
He claims I over analyze things. To a degree he is right. I feel I have no choice, most of the time. Being married to a guy who does not speak to me really, I have to guess and press and ask question after question to get the most simple explanation of anything. He feels interrogated by this. I have begged him for years to just TALK TO ME and I won't feel the need to make assumptions, and second guess things all the time.
Anyway, once I found that out, I was pretty upset. Couldn't eat really. Wasn't sleeping because of the heat, but on Saturday night when I laid down to try and sleep, I kept thinking over and over in my mind, "Right at this moment, Stud is sleeping in the same room as another woman. Our children know this, I wonder how this will effect them and what they think of it. Here is yet ANOTHER example of how disrespectful he is to me."
Found out also that lunch, was not lunch out, but alone at her house. Her kids were nowhere (Stud says he doesn't even know where) and he did not even tell our kids where he was going or THAT he was going anywhere. They asked his mother a while after they noticed that he was gone. Jock tells me that one night before that (he can't remember if it was the night they got there (Tuesday) or Wednesday night, Stud also went to see M. He said he would be gone for half an hour and Jock fell asleep before he got back. In the morning, his mother said something to him along the lines of "You were gone a lot longer than half an hour last night." and Stud just shrugged and smiled.
Stud told me since that he only went for lunch, he went nowhere at night. However, he is not an honest person, so unfortunately, I will believe my children who were there and witnessed this, over someone who has often kept things from me and been dishonest. I still have NO IDEA why he has always felt the need to lie and keep information from me. It has always hurt me deeply and counselors have tried to get him to figure out why he does it. The worst part is that he is in denial about that. Had a gift of turning it around and making me question myself and doubt myself. As the years have gone by, I have become better and no longer doubt myself as much as I had been. I have not asked the children a lot of questions, I do not want to be that kind of person. Thankfully, I have not needed to. They have come to me with many concerns.
Jock called me very upset the night before they came home. He said his Dad was going places with M a lot and that he was VERY nice to her. I asked what he meant by very nice and he was trying not to cry. He said, "He just talks to her a lot nicer than he does you. He isn't mean to her AT ALL. And they sit together a lot and are always touching each other and just really friendly." Then he whispered "Mum...they slept in the SAME ROOM."
I told him I knew that and how did that make him feel. I could just see his precious face and his teeth gritted together when he spit out, "I DON'T LIKE IT." I told him could tell me anything that was bothering him when he got home and to not worry, Daddy and I would deal with it. Then he said, "I am seeing...other things." He wouldn't tell me what he meant and he had to go, lots of people were coming in and out of the room he was in. I tell you, I was LIVID that Stud put Jock through this. If he wants to act inappropriately, he does NOT need to involve our precious innocent children.
So, now for the short part. I have been unhappy in our relationship for years. From day one, Stud has been incredibly self absorbed. Thankfully, he never hesitates to admit that fact. During the years before children, I worked at least two jobs at a time. He was always out with friends, going to bars late and wanting me to come with him, even though that is not my scene at all. He would spend the night at people's houses, not call to let me know what was happening, etc. I did not have my driver's license until Brain was a baby, so I relied totally on Stud, or walking, bus or biking, to get myself places. So many times, Stud would "Forget" to pick me up from one of my jobs and I would arrive home drenched from walking in the rain to find him playing video games with his buddies.
When the children came along, he says he felt ignored. I laugh thinking back at it now. We always planned on having kids, but I had Brain when I did, BECAUSE I wanted some attention, someone to take care of and something to do other than work back breaking jobs all the time. I didn't realise at the time that was my reasoning, but looking back I see it now. I was incredibly lonely. I had left my country and family, only to be ignored and I felt, used. I had hot meals ready, kept the place clean and was good for sex. So I was confused later, when I devoted myself to the people who paid me attention, needed me, and LOVED me, that he felt ignored?? He had me before and never gave me the time of day. Why was he suddenly jealous of some small innocent people???
Stud has some valid points. I am not as physically affectionate with him as he needs. He says that nothing he does is ever good enough. I can understand him feeling this way. The thing is, I have BEGGED him for years to tell me how he feels, tell me what I am doing wrong or what he needs from me, and he has acted totally caught off guard and said things are awesome, nothing at all is wrong. I have told him it is wrong for me, this is how I feel...yadda yadda. For a few days it seems he tries to be nicer but it never lasts long at all.
He says I judge him and M does not. She just listens. Well, if dude WOULD TALK TO ME, I would listen also. One of my main frustrations has been that he refuses to talk or open up, tell me about ANYTHING. When he does talk to me, it is to talk down to me. He is AMAZINGLY condescending and demeaning. Many people have pointed it out over the years and we have actually lost friends because they are so uncomfortable seeing how he talks to me. Obviously, I am guilty too. It is not just him. I am convinced that it is a defense mechanism that I developed to deal with the painful things he has said and done. Doesn't make it right and I am not excusing myself. Just stating a fact. M listens because she doesn't have SIXTEEN years of pain and frustration built up. Of course she will listen?!?
Anyway, finally in our counseling on Friday he admitted that he may not want to stay married. I have often fantasized over the years about what it would be like to be "free" and not live with the constant walking on egg shells. So I admit to being quite excited and relieved at the idea. Jock has asked me off and on for the past three or four years to divorce his Dad. He adores him, but Stud is really in his own little world much of the time. When he comes out of it he is also quite controlling and just honestly out for himself. I could give countless examples, but I won't. At least not right now.
He says he wants to be a bachelor again. He doesn't want to fight over the kids, which is great. He is just now getting in touch with how he feels about things and needs time to get used to these feelings. Turns out he calls M from the office and his cell phone fairly regularly. He won't tell me how often. He deleted all the e-mails between them and then had me waste about 20 minutes the other night looking for them. Then went through a big production about him searching and then finally admitted, "OH, I guess I did delete them after all." Just another example of the mind games and control he enjoys. He reads my e-mail. Read through everything I said to anyone about any of it. I have always told him exactly how I feel and do not hide things from him. That is all I have ever wanted from him, but he is incapable of it for some reason. I am sure nothing physical is even going on with he and M, they are just there for each other emotionally (which of course for me, a woman, is just as bad. Especially when I have BEGGED for years and tried to be there for him and he refused) but he loves to just play games with me and make me wonder. Very cruel.
Man, I had guys all over me all the time 35 pounds ago. I was constantly being flirted with and asked to go out, even though it was no secret I was married. They didn't care. And they were relentless, they DID NOT GIVE UP. At least guys I worked with. Other guys who I didn't know, like just guys in the street or whatever, even when I was with my little kids, would come talk to me and ask me stuff and whistle and come right out and say how great they thought I looked. I just never even considered it. I knew, especially as emotionally neglected as I was, if I went anywhere with any of my guy co-workers, I may cave in and do something bad and wrong. It is like the dude in the bible who was being tempted by that woman to sleep with him. He ran! That is what I did. You run from temptation, you don't purposely put yourself IN IT.
Even now, still. Guys look at me sometimes. Jock notices it more than me. He used to ask why that man was looking at me and smiling. I told him I wasn't sure. Now he just grins and says, "Another guy was checking you out, Mum. See that guy, he keeps smiling at you and nodding his head. I think he wants you to notice him or something." He thinks it is hilarious and really seems to get a kick out of it. I always think it must be because I have a booger hanging out of my nose or something. I never have had self confidence. It always annoyed Stud, too. Jock gets annoyed at me too and tells me I am pretty and that is why the guys look and smile. I guess there must be some truth to that. So that is great, whatever. When I was young and had them all over me, I didn't do anything. Stud is almost 40, you would think he would know better than to put himself in situations like he does. This is not the only incident. I had to call our Pastor a few years ago and ask him to talk to Stud because of inappropriate behaviour with another woman AT OUR HOUSE during weekly bible studies!?!?! *sigh*
So, we are not sure what we are going to do. At first, when Stud came back and was honestly telling me how he felt about M, I felt so relieved and happy. I was glad he was being honest. It was hard to hear, but I always just wanted honesty. He told me he has been talking to his Mom, sister, even his ex-fiance for crying out loud! But not me. The ONE PERSON who can do anything to fix it. That is hurtful and VERY frustrating since I KNEW he was feeling that way. You just don't treat people the way he treats me, if you loved and care about them. So I am confused about some things, but I was just glad he was being honest. I told him, now I feel connected. I always just wanted a connection. I felt SO good about him and was just really hopeful about things and felt more devoted and wanted to be a good wife and dote on him again like I used to etc.
Then, more lies again. The weird game about the e-mail. Just still being secretive. I refuse to live that way. So we will see where this goes. I DO NOT want my kids to be a product of divorce. I think that is SO SAD. Yet, I don't deserve to go through life always wondering what is going on, what is he doing, is he lying to me again about some silly little thing?? The thing that upsets me the most, is that he involved our kids in behaving the way he did when he was there. What a horrible thing to do. Jock is SO HURT and upset seeing his mother disrespected even more. *sigh*
So there you are. Stud is now back from riding on his motorcycle and we are off to shop for some things at Target. He told me it was fine for me to write how I feel on my blog. I wasn't sure if I was going to or not, but this is pretty huge and life altering.
Of course I will update you all. Thanks for listening and caring:)
Watch for some photos from their trip to SC shortly!
Friday, August 04, 2006
Long Silence
I am so sorry to worry any of you. Our DSL service was messed up and we could not get on-line until tonight.
Stud and the kids got home from SC safe and sound. It turns out that my worry was for something pretty shocking that had not even occurred to me would ever be an issue. I KNEW something major and very bad was going to happen. Call it women's intuition. I thought they would be injured or killed in a boating accident or during the travels or something. Thank the good Lord they were not. But the news is still not good at all.
I am exhausted now from spending the day taking Brain and Princess up to Vancouver to fly to my brother and SIL's in Calgary. They will leave tomorrow morning and drive to Saskatoon and spend two weeks there with my parents. My parents will then drive them back to Calgary to my Bro and SIL's. They will fly back to Vancouver on the 20th.
I will clarify what the women's intuition was about very soon. Perhaps tomorrow. I had been wanting to post about my brother and hopefully still will. Not only was the DSL causing problems, but I was very preoccupied with the bomb that has been dropped on our family.
Details to come...
Stud and the kids got home from SC safe and sound. It turns out that my worry was for something pretty shocking that had not even occurred to me would ever be an issue. I KNEW something major and very bad was going to happen. Call it women's intuition. I thought they would be injured or killed in a boating accident or during the travels or something. Thank the good Lord they were not. But the news is still not good at all.
I am exhausted now from spending the day taking Brain and Princess up to Vancouver to fly to my brother and SIL's in Calgary. They will leave tomorrow morning and drive to Saskatoon and spend two weeks there with my parents. My parents will then drive them back to Calgary to my Bro and SIL's. They will fly back to Vancouver on the 20th.
I will clarify what the women's intuition was about very soon. Perhaps tomorrow. I had been wanting to post about my brother and hopefully still will. Not only was the DSL causing problems, but I was very preoccupied with the bomb that has been dropped on our family.
Details to come...
Sunday, July 23, 2006
HOT!
Things are pretty scorching over here. Well, everywhere. This entire continent is on fire, it seems. The air above us, anyway. I don't read papers or watch or listen to news, so I dunno. But I am sure the entire world is suffering.
So the company left last night. We had a nice time. Went to Seattle Centre House (fun stuff at the base of the Space Needle) Space Needle, Pike Place, and The Aquarium.
Seattle aquarium is SO LAME, but it is better than nothing, I suppose. I had free passes for them, since we are members to that and the Zoo. It gets us into the one in Vancouver (not that we ever go! LOL) and is reasonably priced. The kids like to go down there a few times a year at least.
We also went out to eat a few times, shopped a bit and went to the Tacoma Glass museum. Our Homeschooling group just went a few months ago, but the kids and I did not join them. This was an all day thing that my friend D who was visiting wanted to do. It was really interesting, we learned a lot. We loved going in the hot shop where they blow the glass. There was a woman from France there, who now teaches glass blowing in Australia and has taught it in Japan. It was SO NEAT to see them do it. It is hot in there on any day, but with this heat wave...NO FUN. The hot shop is a huge metal building that is a really neat shape. If you google Tacoma Glass museum, you can see a photo of it. I can't put a link in here right now.
I couldn't take any pictures, since Stud took ALL of our cameras to SC for some reason!?!? ARG!
OH! I got this COOL necklace for $14 from this dude near the Space Needle. He takes a grain of rice and prints really tiny on it. Then he puts it in a tiny glass vial (you can choose from all kinds of styles and shapes) of coloured liquid and makes it into a necklace. I got Brain one. He chose a...I can't think how to describe it. Like a horn kind of shape and then green inside it. The liquid magnifies the printing so you can easily read what is on the grain of rice floating inside. It is SO COOL!!
So as we were walking away, I said to my friend D that I may get all my kids' names in one. She thought it was a great idea, so we went back and asked him if he can fit four grains of rice in the vial. He said no, he can fit four names on a single grain of rice!?!?!?
So he somehow wrote all the kids names on (Princess' name has seven letters, too!) this grain. D and I got matching. She got her three kids' names and I got my four. We chose the same shaped vial, same beaded cord for around our necks and same colour. I wanted blue, but he didn't have blue, so I got green like Brain and D did. Then D's 14 year old son got one made with his name and the name of a girl he likes with a heart in between them! Of course the colour is pink:) He is going to give it to her. SO CUTE! We all got a kick out of that, although Brain thinks it is ridiculous. But that is a whole other post.
Stud and the kids are having fun! They have gone to the lake and I guess Jock and a new friend he made are the ones who finally fixed the jet ski and got it working! I can't wait to talk to him about it and hear all about that! I know he will be pleased. They have spent the night at Stud's brother and his wife's and played with their cousins. It is SO SPECIAL. These visits do not happen often. I would love for some of them to come up this way and visit us here!
Only a few more days and they will be back. Get back just after midnight on Wednesday. Poor guys, it will be after 3 am to their bodies! YUCKY!
Alright, I am spending some time looking through photos to post more comparison ones soon. I also want to scrub the house and totally de-clutter and get lots of stuff out of closets and stuff since the younger kids are not here needing my attention.
Lots to get done before they return.
Keep cool everyone!
So the company left last night. We had a nice time. Went to Seattle Centre House (fun stuff at the base of the Space Needle) Space Needle, Pike Place, and The Aquarium.
Seattle aquarium is SO LAME, but it is better than nothing, I suppose. I had free passes for them, since we are members to that and the Zoo. It gets us into the one in Vancouver (not that we ever go! LOL) and is reasonably priced. The kids like to go down there a few times a year at least.
We also went out to eat a few times, shopped a bit and went to the Tacoma Glass museum. Our Homeschooling group just went a few months ago, but the kids and I did not join them. This was an all day thing that my friend D who was visiting wanted to do. It was really interesting, we learned a lot. We loved going in the hot shop where they blow the glass. There was a woman from France there, who now teaches glass blowing in Australia and has taught it in Japan. It was SO NEAT to see them do it. It is hot in there on any day, but with this heat wave...NO FUN. The hot shop is a huge metal building that is a really neat shape. If you google Tacoma Glass museum, you can see a photo of it. I can't put a link in here right now.
I couldn't take any pictures, since Stud took ALL of our cameras to SC for some reason!?!? ARG!
OH! I got this COOL necklace for $14 from this dude near the Space Needle. He takes a grain of rice and prints really tiny on it. Then he puts it in a tiny glass vial (you can choose from all kinds of styles and shapes) of coloured liquid and makes it into a necklace. I got Brain one. He chose a...I can't think how to describe it. Like a horn kind of shape and then green inside it. The liquid magnifies the printing so you can easily read what is on the grain of rice floating inside. It is SO COOL!!
So as we were walking away, I said to my friend D that I may get all my kids' names in one. She thought it was a great idea, so we went back and asked him if he can fit four grains of rice in the vial. He said no, he can fit four names on a single grain of rice!?!?!?
So he somehow wrote all the kids names on (Princess' name has seven letters, too!) this grain. D and I got matching. She got her three kids' names and I got my four. We chose the same shaped vial, same beaded cord for around our necks and same colour. I wanted blue, but he didn't have blue, so I got green like Brain and D did. Then D's 14 year old son got one made with his name and the name of a girl he likes with a heart in between them! Of course the colour is pink:) He is going to give it to her. SO CUTE! We all got a kick out of that, although Brain thinks it is ridiculous. But that is a whole other post.
Stud and the kids are having fun! They have gone to the lake and I guess Jock and a new friend he made are the ones who finally fixed the jet ski and got it working! I can't wait to talk to him about it and hear all about that! I know he will be pleased. They have spent the night at Stud's brother and his wife's and played with their cousins. It is SO SPECIAL. These visits do not happen often. I would love for some of them to come up this way and visit us here!
Only a few more days and they will be back. Get back just after midnight on Wednesday. Poor guys, it will be after 3 am to their bodies! YUCKY!
Alright, I am spending some time looking through photos to post more comparison ones soon. I also want to scrub the house and totally de-clutter and get lots of stuff out of closets and stuff since the younger kids are not here needing my attention.
Lots to get done before they return.
Keep cool everyone!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Five years difference
In looking through photos of my babies, I found some funny ones!
Look what difference five years makes!
Here is Princess in her bed a little more than five years ago -
And here she is, in the same room, with the bed in the same corner the crib was in. This was taken last week-
I love comparison things like this!
Look what difference five years makes!
Here is Princess in her bed a little more than five years ago -
And here she is, in the same room, with the bed in the same corner the crib was in. This was taken last week-
I love comparison things like this!
Relief
Alright. Everyone got to SC safe and sound.
I did not post about it, but have been incredibly uneasy about this trip. The past ten days or so, I have been nauseous and very nervous about them going. Just had a bad feeling for some reason. I finally told Stud on Sunday night. I had been debating if I should tell him or not. I am sure if I was about to fly across the country, I would not like someone to tell me they had a "bad vibe" about the trip. Ya know?? I decided to go ahead. I don't think he thought much of it. LOL
As the time grew near yesterday, I was getting weepy and emotional. Brain came to me in the kitchen as I was getting snacks ready for the kids' backpacks on the plane. He said he had a bad feeling and was worried. Then I REALLY panicked. I asked him about what. He said about their flight. I told him that I had been upset too, and that REALLY worried him. The more I thought about it, I was remembering more things.
Jock has been VERY clingy and loving. Telling me he loves me over and over again. This was the past three or four days. Princess has been feeling sick to her tummy for about ten days. I kept on meaning to get her to the Doc, but never got around to it. She is at the age where everything hurts and worries her and it is often when she has been asked to unload the dishwasher or tidy her room or fold her clean clothes. So I didn't take it too seriously, I guess.
Then when I was all upset, I was wondering if maybe she has some sense of something going to happen and that is how it is affecting her. My mind kept on going all over with all the scenarios of what might be happening. Ever since my brother died last summer, I have been very traumatized. Part of why I have been feeling sick also, is the first anniversary of his death is looming and whenever I think of that, it feels like there is a huge rock in my gut. I am sure I will post about him, when the time comes. I sure want to share as much as I can about him, since he was so amazing. I mention him here and there, but want to share more about how incredible he was. I am thinking perhaps the one year mark may be the time to do that and may also be a bit of a healing experience for me. I am still numb in many ways and keep on finding ways to ignore how I feel and not deal with it. I am great at that anyway, but about something like this, it is especially not healthy.
So I think that may have added to my fears. My mother knew that someone in our family was going to die last year. Not that something bad was going to happen. But specifically, that someone was going to die. She assumed it was either my Dad, or her. Did not occur to her that it would be her 13 year old son. Then less than a week before he died, I had a very odd premonition. It was like a dream, but not. I told my parents and we thought it was odd, but assumed it was because I was worried about Brain. That is another story that maybe I will write about later.
So we got to the airport and Poor Stud had all this stuff. Each kid has a backpack, suitcase and pillow. Princess had her new purse, stuffed full with necessities. Bubble gum, lip smackers, change purse (containing a new $5 that I gave her! She is SO EXCITED!) little toys and a Three Musketeers that she chose. I let them pick a treat at the store before we left and that is what she decided on.
So Stud had all this stuff and I was just dropping them so I wanted to get them dropped quickly and get out of the way. Brain stayed home by himself. He was worried that if it was the last time he saw them, he wanted them to have good memories. He was worried if he went along, they may fight and those would be his last memory of time with his sibs. What a horrible thing for him to have to think about! The feeling was that strong, it was just freaky! So I was in a rush to get home to him, also. It was late at night, I don't like him being home alone that late.
I started crying when I was hugging Jock. He said not to, or he would. I went to Clown and said something about not wanting to make him sad, but I was going to miss them all. He called me back over and motioned me to bend down. He whispered, "Like you always tell us. If we need to cry, we need to do it. Don't hold it in. Go ahead and cry, Mummy. I won't mind. Don't worry about not wanting to make me sad. I AM sad. I am going to miss you a lot!!!"
Of course then I was really struggling. I went to Princess and she said, "Mummy, I am scared." STAB. Like someone stabbed me right in the chest. I was SO tempted to just load them in the van and go home. She loves to fly. She is never scared! *sigh* What on earth was wrong!?!? She told me she is scared she will puke and need a barf bag! She was very ill the last time she flew and she was nervous, thinking since she puked the last time she flew, she will this time also.
I spent the drive home, alternately crying and praying. Cry some more. Pray some more. I got pretty peaceful and listened to my praise songs. Then of course some of the kids' favourite ones came on, that they always dance to. I shut it off and just prayed all the more!!
I called Brain and he answered in a panic. I could tell by his voice he was a ball of nerves. I said they were in the airport. He said for me to hurry and get home. When I was almost home (we are about 45 minutes North of Sea-Tac) I called Stud. They were waiting at the gate. Jock talked to me a lot and I bawled the entire time, but hid it from him wonderfully:) I am SO GOOD. I draw it all from my years of acting in high school:) I bet he had NO CLUE I was a blubbering fool.
Princess talked to me a bit and one of the last things she said was, "I hope I talk to you soon. I hope I see you again. Soon." When she said Again, I was FREAKING! Like she has had some premonition and that is how her five year old self is telling me. Then she added the soon and I admonished my goofy self. I was just looking for negative and needed to get a hold of myself!!
At 4:05 this morning, I woke up suddenly. I recalled this was around the time they were to land in DC to catch their connecting flight. So I could not sleep for about 45 minutes, praying that all was well. About four hours later, Stud called me from his mother's house. YAHOO!!!
I still won't relax until they are back here on the ground in Washington state. What a roller coaster the past few days have been. I am never this way at all. We fly fairly often and I have never been this goofy about it!
Let me find a picture of my babies to post and I will close this down now and spend some much needed time with Brain.
NO, I will do an separate post, devoted just to photos of my babies:)
I did not post about it, but have been incredibly uneasy about this trip. The past ten days or so, I have been nauseous and very nervous about them going. Just had a bad feeling for some reason. I finally told Stud on Sunday night. I had been debating if I should tell him or not. I am sure if I was about to fly across the country, I would not like someone to tell me they had a "bad vibe" about the trip. Ya know?? I decided to go ahead. I don't think he thought much of it. LOL
As the time grew near yesterday, I was getting weepy and emotional. Brain came to me in the kitchen as I was getting snacks ready for the kids' backpacks on the plane. He said he had a bad feeling and was worried. Then I REALLY panicked. I asked him about what. He said about their flight. I told him that I had been upset too, and that REALLY worried him. The more I thought about it, I was remembering more things.
Jock has been VERY clingy and loving. Telling me he loves me over and over again. This was the past three or four days. Princess has been feeling sick to her tummy for about ten days. I kept on meaning to get her to the Doc, but never got around to it. She is at the age where everything hurts and worries her and it is often when she has been asked to unload the dishwasher or tidy her room or fold her clean clothes. So I didn't take it too seriously, I guess.
Then when I was all upset, I was wondering if maybe she has some sense of something going to happen and that is how it is affecting her. My mind kept on going all over with all the scenarios of what might be happening. Ever since my brother died last summer, I have been very traumatized. Part of why I have been feeling sick also, is the first anniversary of his death is looming and whenever I think of that, it feels like there is a huge rock in my gut. I am sure I will post about him, when the time comes. I sure want to share as much as I can about him, since he was so amazing. I mention him here and there, but want to share more about how incredible he was. I am thinking perhaps the one year mark may be the time to do that and may also be a bit of a healing experience for me. I am still numb in many ways and keep on finding ways to ignore how I feel and not deal with it. I am great at that anyway, but about something like this, it is especially not healthy.
So I think that may have added to my fears. My mother knew that someone in our family was going to die last year. Not that something bad was going to happen. But specifically, that someone was going to die. She assumed it was either my Dad, or her. Did not occur to her that it would be her 13 year old son. Then less than a week before he died, I had a very odd premonition. It was like a dream, but not. I told my parents and we thought it was odd, but assumed it was because I was worried about Brain. That is another story that maybe I will write about later.
So we got to the airport and Poor Stud had all this stuff. Each kid has a backpack, suitcase and pillow. Princess had her new purse, stuffed full with necessities. Bubble gum, lip smackers, change purse (containing a new $5 that I gave her! She is SO EXCITED!) little toys and a Three Musketeers that she chose. I let them pick a treat at the store before we left and that is what she decided on.
So Stud had all this stuff and I was just dropping them so I wanted to get them dropped quickly and get out of the way. Brain stayed home by himself. He was worried that if it was the last time he saw them, he wanted them to have good memories. He was worried if he went along, they may fight and those would be his last memory of time with his sibs. What a horrible thing for him to have to think about! The feeling was that strong, it was just freaky! So I was in a rush to get home to him, also. It was late at night, I don't like him being home alone that late.
I started crying when I was hugging Jock. He said not to, or he would. I went to Clown and said something about not wanting to make him sad, but I was going to miss them all. He called me back over and motioned me to bend down. He whispered, "Like you always tell us. If we need to cry, we need to do it. Don't hold it in. Go ahead and cry, Mummy. I won't mind. Don't worry about not wanting to make me sad. I AM sad. I am going to miss you a lot!!!"
Of course then I was really struggling. I went to Princess and she said, "Mummy, I am scared." STAB. Like someone stabbed me right in the chest. I was SO tempted to just load them in the van and go home. She loves to fly. She is never scared! *sigh* What on earth was wrong!?!? She told me she is scared she will puke and need a barf bag! She was very ill the last time she flew and she was nervous, thinking since she puked the last time she flew, she will this time also.
I spent the drive home, alternately crying and praying. Cry some more. Pray some more. I got pretty peaceful and listened to my praise songs. Then of course some of the kids' favourite ones came on, that they always dance to. I shut it off and just prayed all the more!!
I called Brain and he answered in a panic. I could tell by his voice he was a ball of nerves. I said they were in the airport. He said for me to hurry and get home. When I was almost home (we are about 45 minutes North of Sea-Tac) I called Stud. They were waiting at the gate. Jock talked to me a lot and I bawled the entire time, but hid it from him wonderfully:) I am SO GOOD. I draw it all from my years of acting in high school:) I bet he had NO CLUE I was a blubbering fool.
Princess talked to me a bit and one of the last things she said was, "I hope I talk to you soon. I hope I see you again. Soon." When she said Again, I was FREAKING! Like she has had some premonition and that is how her five year old self is telling me. Then she added the soon and I admonished my goofy self. I was just looking for negative and needed to get a hold of myself!!
At 4:05 this morning, I woke up suddenly. I recalled this was around the time they were to land in DC to catch their connecting flight. So I could not sleep for about 45 minutes, praying that all was well. About four hours later, Stud called me from his mother's house. YAHOO!!!
I still won't relax until they are back here on the ground in Washington state. What a roller coaster the past few days have been. I am never this way at all. We fly fairly often and I have never been this goofy about it!
Let me find a picture of my babies to post and I will close this down now and spend some much needed time with Brain.
NO, I will do an separate post, devoted just to photos of my babies:)
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Mish mash of news
Alright, lots to share.
Stud and the three youngest kids are leaving tomorrow night on a red eye. They are going on holiday to South Carolina. Stud grew up there and his entire family is there. I suggested some months ago that he take some kids to see his family since it has been over 18 months since they have seen any of them. He had been thinking of going and we thought summer would be nice so the kids could go to the lakehouse that they have. We can't afford to take everyone and much as Brain and I would love to see everyone, South Carolina in the summer is not our favourite. But that is an entirely different post.
So, this past week I took my two middle sons for some time with them before they left. We looked around at the mall, had lunch and went to a movie. They were excited about the movie because normally if they want to see a movie, they have to pay for it themselves. This was my treat and they were pleased indeed.
Brain and I had seen "Nacho Libre" and I wanted the other boys to see it. They enjoyed it, but Jock got mad at me because I laughed too much and often. I couldn't help it, that Jack Black is a HOOT! The faces he makes and how his character was over acting in this movie and stuff just crack me up! Clown cracked me up the most and I was having trouble keeping quiet at one point. It was just so funny.
I don't know if anyone has seen the preview for this movie. But at one point Nacho is trying to impress this Nun that he likes. He is not wearing his frier robe because he wants her to see his muscles and see how strong he is. He has in "normal" street clothes and at one point leans against a building and flexes his butt cheeks together. That is funny enough, but then Clown leaned over and whispered to me, "He is trying not to fart." Just like that. Totally 100% serious. I struggled to tone down the laughter on that one. You had to be there I am sure!
THEN. We were driving home and some young girls drove past in a nice car. Jock jerked his head and watched them go past and made a sound like he was pleased with what he saw. He is not the slightest bit interested in girls yet (although he turns some heads and has had some girls after him, which confuses and annoys him) but is very interested in cars.
Clown said, "AH HA!! You like the LAAAAAAADDDIIIEEEEESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jock yelled, "NO! I was looking at the CAR!!!"
Then, since Clown could tell he was getting Jock worked up, he kept at it. He was saying all kinds of things that didn't make sense in this voice he does when he is acting goofy. It was so funny!
So the other night, I cut my foot open on a roll of scotch tape. We still can't figure out how it happened. It was laying on the floor of our bedroom, hidden under some clutter. I must have left it there some months ago when I was wrapping Clown's birthday gifts. Our room is in such disarray, I could not see it. Keep meaning to clean the room. *sigh* Keep starting and getting side-tracked.
The thing is, I did not step on the part that is sharp and cuts the tape. I just stepped somehow on the side of the thingy the tape is in. I must have stepped at just the right angle for it to slice through the skin. Which is no easy task. Even though I just got a pedicure, the skin on my feet is like leather.
It hurt and I was thinking how weird that is. How did some dull piece of plastic cut through that thick skin?? I picked it up and went to put it away. My foot felt weird and then I noticed it felt wet. It was bleeding!?!?!? Then we found little smears of blood on the floor in various places.
So Saturday, we surprised the kids and took them to this place where you do miniature golf (or "Putt Putt" as they call it in this country! LOL I still get a kick out of that even after 16 years down here!) bumper cars, go karts, lazer tag, video games etc. I was worried about walking around on that foot all day, and it did really hurt. I am favouring it, so walk on the inside of my foot, since it is on the outside edge.
I was still having fun when I was driving Princess around in a bumper car. Somehow, when we smashed into someone, I bashed my right knee into the steering wheel REALLY HARD. It HURT SO BAD and swelled up pretty quick. I don't swell easily or get hurt often, so I guess this is making up for a nice long time with no injuries! A nice bruise is forming and it is still pretty swollen. Stud was mad at me because I did not want ice on it when we got home. Which was hours later anyway. I tried it, but it stung really bad:( *sniff* I have been whining about these injuries and he said today, "Quit being a baby! You had four kids for crying out loud!" Teehee Good point.
After the fun day, we went out to our favourite Thai place to eat. Princess was wearing the napkin as a hat, silly girl!
Today we skipped church and had a lazy day. I went to Target to get Princess some new sandals since she forgot her's in Spokane and needs some for South Carolina. I found some on sale, and had fun looking around at various things. Different hair things (try new things now and again to keep the frizz under control, but nothing much works) and skin goop. I got some groceries also and then went home to pick up the troops.
We went to some friends' house for the rest of the day. A family we met and got very close with when he was the Children's Pastor at our church are moving to Idaho in a few weeks. They had a drop in thing and we went to say good bye. We will of course go and visit them. Our kids get along really well. They have three girls and one boy. So their boy LOVES our boys! LOL
Waiting with Brain and Jock for our table at the restaurant. Not sure what I am looking at, but I get a kick out of this picture, because it reminds me of my oldest brother for some reason. Maybe you have to know him, to get a kick out of the picture like I do. Anyone who knows B, don't you think this is like him?? UH!??! Let me know!
Okay, enough for now!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Kidney Beans
This morning Princess and I were getting ready for a tea party.
She was sitting at the table waiting for her fingernails to dry. I had just painted them a hot pink with an added layer of glow-in-the dark sparkles.
I was making the hot chocolate (usually we have mint tea, but we were in the mood for chocolate) and gathering our special "fancy cookies" to set out.
She said in her sweet little girl voice, "Mummy??"
"Yes??" said I.
"Is it bad if something touches your kidney beans??"
I stifled laughter and asked her where her kidney beans were.
She informed me that they are inside, with the other stuff.
I told her they are just called kidneys. She thought that odd, since they look like the beans that I put in the chili that she hates to eat! I then informed her that is where those beans got their name from. Since they are shaped like our organs, the kidneys.
When I questioned what made her think of any of this in the first place, she showed me that the place mat at the place she was sitting at (Brain's) had various views of the human body on it.
Upon further inspection, I noted that there are no kidneys to be found on the place mat. The last time we did any Science, which was some months ago, we had started some lessons on the human body. So I guess she recalled kidneys from that. We made "lungs" from...I forget. Hopefully the kids remember. A tube, a balloon, a straw...some plastic container. We were working on a heart also, when I got sidetracked and we have never gotten back to it! teehee
Anyway, it appears she is retaining more than I do from our lessons:)
She was sitting at the table waiting for her fingernails to dry. I had just painted them a hot pink with an added layer of glow-in-the dark sparkles.
I was making the hot chocolate (usually we have mint tea, but we were in the mood for chocolate) and gathering our special "fancy cookies" to set out.
She said in her sweet little girl voice, "Mummy??"
"Yes??" said I.
"Is it bad if something touches your kidney beans??"
I stifled laughter and asked her where her kidney beans were.
She informed me that they are inside, with the other stuff.
I told her they are just called kidneys. She thought that odd, since they look like the beans that I put in the chili that she hates to eat! I then informed her that is where those beans got their name from. Since they are shaped like our organs, the kidneys.
When I questioned what made her think of any of this in the first place, she showed me that the place mat at the place she was sitting at (Brain's) had various views of the human body on it.
Upon further inspection, I noted that there are no kidneys to be found on the place mat. The last time we did any Science, which was some months ago, we had started some lessons on the human body. So I guess she recalled kidneys from that. We made "lungs" from...I forget. Hopefully the kids remember. A tube, a balloon, a straw...some plastic container. We were working on a heart also, when I got sidetracked and we have never gotten back to it! teehee
Anyway, it appears she is retaining more than I do from our lessons:)
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
Time for a new Tat
Ok everyone, please help me out.
It is time for a new tattoo. I don't want to be one of those people covered in them. Yet I do want a few more, ya know???
There are ones I have been considering. Please tell me which one(s) you think I should get.
1) My maiden name family crest. It is Irish and very nice, if I do say so myself. Would be very detailed and take some time and money.
2) A wee little green Shamrock.
3) A Claddaugh ring but with the band being a celtic knot. Either around the calf or wrist.
4) My brother's name written by my mother. Since I have the one my Dad wrote already, I really need one in my mother's writing. She has written it out for me, I just need to find the piece of paper again. The poor woman already mailed one to me TWICE. ARG! I need to be more organised! You new readers can go to my November 27th, 2005 post to view the one my Dad "designed" if you want. I am sorry, I don't know how to make that be linked in here.
5) I do want some kind of butterflies or some girly thing kind of around my ankle and going down into the top of my foot. When I was getting my dragonflies last year, I saw a photo of a cool anklet like that. It was SO PRETTY!
6) I have always adored unicorns and would love one of those somewhere...
Ok, thanks in advance for your help! Off to bed:)
It is time for a new tattoo. I don't want to be one of those people covered in them. Yet I do want a few more, ya know???
There are ones I have been considering. Please tell me which one(s) you think I should get.
1) My maiden name family crest. It is Irish and very nice, if I do say so myself. Would be very detailed and take some time and money.
2) A wee little green Shamrock.
3) A Claddaugh ring but with the band being a celtic knot. Either around the calf or wrist.
4) My brother's name written by my mother. Since I have the one my Dad wrote already, I really need one in my mother's writing. She has written it out for me, I just need to find the piece of paper again. The poor woman already mailed one to me TWICE. ARG! I need to be more organised! You new readers can go to my November 27th, 2005 post to view the one my Dad "designed" if you want. I am sorry, I don't know how to make that be linked in here.
5) I do want some kind of butterflies or some girly thing kind of around my ankle and going down into the top of my foot. When I was getting my dragonflies last year, I saw a photo of a cool anklet like that. It was SO PRETTY!
6) I have always adored unicorns and would love one of those somewhere...
Ok, thanks in advance for your help! Off to bed:)
Physical Affection (or lack thereof)
So as I mentioned earlier, I was going to ramble about this a bit.
The other day, Clown and I were playing a board game. I was aware that Brain was in the room and Clown had gotten up and was near him. I looked up, and Clown was reaching across Brain's waist (that is about where he comes up to) with both arms. I took this for a hug. I was only slightly surprised, because Clown gets in moods where he is kind of cuddly. What surprised me more, was that Brain was letting him.
I did some sound in my funky baby talk language thing that means something along the lines of "Isn't that sweet??"
They both looked at me and yelled, "MUM!!!"
Brain chuckled and asked something like, "Do you really think we are being nice to each other or something like that???"
On further inspection, it did appear that Clown was indeed reaching and trying to retrieve something that Brain had taken from him and was holding behind his back.
As they were sorting it out, it got me thinking about how different all of my kids are in the affection department.
Take Brain for instance. He shows no affection to anyone but me. Has no trouble at all. Kid will be 14 in November, and still sits and curls up in my lap. Kisses me (even on the mouth), hugs me, actually finds any excuse to touch me at all. Holds my hand or just leans on my arm in public. Hugs me constantly. Twists my hair in his fingers. Has a hand on my arm or something as he talks to me. Gently lays a hand on my shoulder as he is showing me something he found on the computer or going to read me the latest poem he wrote. He is just always touching me.
I always thought this was because his main "Love Language" is physical touch. Until I noticed he is not that way with anyone else.
Jock is not that way at all, yet seems to crave physical touch from Brain. They have talked to their counselor about it. Jock and Clown are similar in that they will hug or kiss you on rare occasions and you must wait for them to come to you. I can go to Brain for a hug and he melts into me. If I feel like hugging Jock or Clown and move to do so without thinking it through, I get rejected 90% of the time.
Jock is more apt to come to me and hug me than Clown, though. I think Clown is more like me. I am not terribly affectionate in the physical way. Which sucks because poor Stud is and for some reason...I dunno. I am just not. Yet the counselor has noted that I am with our kids. I am really not that way with ANYONE, except my kids. So yes, Clown is the same. I am more like he and Jock in that I don't usually accept cuddles, a person needs to wait for ME to dish them out.
Clown is actually getting quite aggressive. Especially with me. Lately, he finds it amusing to hit me. Especially my boobs. I think he is trying to separate from me and all that and is angry and confused. I think he likes the boobs, but won't admit it to himself or hates that he finds them interesting or is curious or something. Who knows.
I will be going about my business and catch him half glaring and half smirking at my chest. He then walks over and starts insulting my boobs and telling me how stupid they are.
"Stupid things! I can't believe I used to eat out of those dumb things! GEEZ! That is SO DUMB!!"
I explain that is what they are made for and that it is good that he ate from them, it made him healthy.
WHAM! WHAP!
He hits them. I tell him that is not nice and not to do it and end up distracting him somehow as we both chuckle a bit. I don't recall Brain or Jock having the same issues with the boobs as poor Clown is. I honestly think part of it is boredom and of course the reaction he got from me the first time he did it. I laughed so hard that I was falling off my chair. I found it so weird and odd. So I am sure he wants the attention. He has only done it a few times since the first time and he doesn't get the same reaction, so he has toned it down.
Anyway, this is one kid you are not allowed to kiss. AT ALL. This is just recent, that past year or so. I can do butterfly kisses on his cheek, Eskimo kisses on his nose, etc. But I can't even kiss his arm or hand or forehead or anything.
He doesn't crave affection from anyone else, whereas Jock does. Jock will sometimes come to me and just hug me for no reason. Brain does that countless times a day, but with Jock it is three or four times a week. With Clown, it is only if he is hurt somehow that he comes to me for comfort.
Jock also seems thrilled to bursting if Brain shows him any affection or encouragement at all. I have talked to Brain about this and he usually gets mad and talks about how annoying Jock can be. I remind him that he can also be annoying and none of us are perfect. Remind him of the sweet and thoughtful things that Jock does and how he looks up to his older brother. I also point out that he has no trouble showing me any kind of affection. If Jock got 5% of what he dishes out to me, he would likely be a totally different guy. So we continue to work on that.
Princess is a female version of Brain. So you can only imagine! She seeks out physical contact and dishes it out easily to anyone. She is extremely cuddly and affectionate all the time. Being the way I am, I struggle with it a bit. Brain is always touching me, but something about how he does it, usually doesn't bother me at all. With Princess, sometimes my skin actually crawls a little when she is all over me. She is just so...girly. LOL I was never one of those girls who skip around holding hands. I see those girls now and I still cringe. That just BUGS ME!
When Brain holds my hand it is for about 20 seconds in bursts here and there. Princess hangs half on me, pulling me over and holds my ARM. Not my hand. She is ALWAYS touching me, like as in doesn't let go for minutes at a time. With Brain, as I said, it is in bursts, which I guess is just enough for me or something. I force myself to hold hands with Princess and skip through the stores because it makes her so happy.
I will leave you all with some photos from a walk to the beach yesterday. We went for ice cream after at DQ.
I love this. All the little ducks following behind Daddy duck! Teehee
My baby girl and me!
I loved this one. She was watching a dog play in the ocean and I thought the way she was standing was so cute. I wanted to go in front and get a shot of her from a different angle, but by the time I was about to, she had moved and was walking towards Stud. I tried to get her to pose, but it is not the same.
Clown being his usual goofy self!
The other day, Clown and I were playing a board game. I was aware that Brain was in the room and Clown had gotten up and was near him. I looked up, and Clown was reaching across Brain's waist (that is about where he comes up to) with both arms. I took this for a hug. I was only slightly surprised, because Clown gets in moods where he is kind of cuddly. What surprised me more, was that Brain was letting him.
I did some sound in my funky baby talk language thing that means something along the lines of "Isn't that sweet??"
They both looked at me and yelled, "MUM!!!"
Brain chuckled and asked something like, "Do you really think we are being nice to each other or something like that???"
On further inspection, it did appear that Clown was indeed reaching and trying to retrieve something that Brain had taken from him and was holding behind his back.
As they were sorting it out, it got me thinking about how different all of my kids are in the affection department.
Take Brain for instance. He shows no affection to anyone but me. Has no trouble at all. Kid will be 14 in November, and still sits and curls up in my lap. Kisses me (even on the mouth), hugs me, actually finds any excuse to touch me at all. Holds my hand or just leans on my arm in public. Hugs me constantly. Twists my hair in his fingers. Has a hand on my arm or something as he talks to me. Gently lays a hand on my shoulder as he is showing me something he found on the computer or going to read me the latest poem he wrote. He is just always touching me.
I always thought this was because his main "Love Language" is physical touch. Until I noticed he is not that way with anyone else.
Jock is not that way at all, yet seems to crave physical touch from Brain. They have talked to their counselor about it. Jock and Clown are similar in that they will hug or kiss you on rare occasions and you must wait for them to come to you. I can go to Brain for a hug and he melts into me. If I feel like hugging Jock or Clown and move to do so without thinking it through, I get rejected 90% of the time.
Jock is more apt to come to me and hug me than Clown, though. I think Clown is more like me. I am not terribly affectionate in the physical way. Which sucks because poor Stud is and for some reason...I dunno. I am just not. Yet the counselor has noted that I am with our kids. I am really not that way with ANYONE, except my kids. So yes, Clown is the same. I am more like he and Jock in that I don't usually accept cuddles, a person needs to wait for ME to dish them out.
Clown is actually getting quite aggressive. Especially with me. Lately, he finds it amusing to hit me. Especially my boobs. I think he is trying to separate from me and all that and is angry and confused. I think he likes the boobs, but won't admit it to himself or hates that he finds them interesting or is curious or something. Who knows.
I will be going about my business and catch him half glaring and half smirking at my chest. He then walks over and starts insulting my boobs and telling me how stupid they are.
"Stupid things! I can't believe I used to eat out of those dumb things! GEEZ! That is SO DUMB!!"
I explain that is what they are made for and that it is good that he ate from them, it made him healthy.
WHAM! WHAP!
He hits them. I tell him that is not nice and not to do it and end up distracting him somehow as we both chuckle a bit. I don't recall Brain or Jock having the same issues with the boobs as poor Clown is. I honestly think part of it is boredom and of course the reaction he got from me the first time he did it. I laughed so hard that I was falling off my chair. I found it so weird and odd. So I am sure he wants the attention. He has only done it a few times since the first time and he doesn't get the same reaction, so he has toned it down.
Anyway, this is one kid you are not allowed to kiss. AT ALL. This is just recent, that past year or so. I can do butterfly kisses on his cheek, Eskimo kisses on his nose, etc. But I can't even kiss his arm or hand or forehead or anything.
He doesn't crave affection from anyone else, whereas Jock does. Jock will sometimes come to me and just hug me for no reason. Brain does that countless times a day, but with Jock it is three or four times a week. With Clown, it is only if he is hurt somehow that he comes to me for comfort.
Jock also seems thrilled to bursting if Brain shows him any affection or encouragement at all. I have talked to Brain about this and he usually gets mad and talks about how annoying Jock can be. I remind him that he can also be annoying and none of us are perfect. Remind him of the sweet and thoughtful things that Jock does and how he looks up to his older brother. I also point out that he has no trouble showing me any kind of affection. If Jock got 5% of what he dishes out to me, he would likely be a totally different guy. So we continue to work on that.
Princess is a female version of Brain. So you can only imagine! She seeks out physical contact and dishes it out easily to anyone. She is extremely cuddly and affectionate all the time. Being the way I am, I struggle with it a bit. Brain is always touching me, but something about how he does it, usually doesn't bother me at all. With Princess, sometimes my skin actually crawls a little when she is all over me. She is just so...girly. LOL I was never one of those girls who skip around holding hands. I see those girls now and I still cringe. That just BUGS ME!
When Brain holds my hand it is for about 20 seconds in bursts here and there. Princess hangs half on me, pulling me over and holds my ARM. Not my hand. She is ALWAYS touching me, like as in doesn't let go for minutes at a time. With Brain, as I said, it is in bursts, which I guess is just enough for me or something. I force myself to hold hands with Princess and skip through the stores because it makes her so happy.
I will leave you all with some photos from a walk to the beach yesterday. We went for ice cream after at DQ.
I love this. All the little ducks following behind Daddy duck! Teehee
My baby girl and me!
I loved this one. She was watching a dog play in the ocean and I thought the way she was standing was so cute. I wanted to go in front and get a shot of her from a different angle, but by the time I was about to, she had moved and was walking towards Stud. I tried to get her to pose, but it is not the same.
Clown being his usual goofy self!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
More Spokane Photos
Ok, so here are the last of the photos from the kids' and I's trip last weekend.
Clown always plugs his nose when he jumps into water. He hates to get water up his nose. I keep telling him to just breathe out as he jumps, but he prefers this way. I thought this was so cute!
Princess jumping in
Jock had a great time.
JT asked me to get some shots of him doing some flips, etc. They turned out pretty cool!
It is very strange to me to see these pictures of JT as grown up as he is. I met his family when he was two years old! I taught his Sunday School class!
I will show a photo of he and his sisters and all of our kids from 2002. Which reminds me that my friend Jude would like to see photos from the changes we are making around the house.
As you can see from this photo, the walls were a bubble gum blue. There was icky berber carpet (nothing against berber, but our kids trashed it in the six years we have lived in this house) and blinds on the windows.
We have since put in Brazilian cherry hardwoods, painted the walls, bought some framed things for the walls, new light fixtures, bought new furniture (well, it is not paid for yet. We were bad and financed, but I couldn't take it any more!) and got some curtains. I will try to find a photo of that same area of the room, that is more recent...
Ok, this is from this past February, when Brain had his surgery. This was the day he got home from the hospital. This is the same wall. That tree in the right hand corner, is where the Christmas tree was in the 2002 photo.
I will do some more on another day. We have re-done Jock and Clown's room (unfortunately, even though this is a five bedroom house, those two have to share. Stud needs one of the bedrooms for his office) and are going to re-paint Princess's and the Master bedroom. We are ordering new carpet for the Master bedroom and the stair way next week and last month we repainted in the stairway and entry to the house. I will go through some photos and show you some of those also, Jude. I am sure some other readers may be interested in seeing some of that!
Stay tuned. Later on, I will discuss something I was pondering yesterday. It is how different our kids all show their affection to others. Fascinating. Don't miss it! teehee
Right now, I am off to pick up a friend of mine for some much needed girly time. She is a single mother who is really struggling. I sometimes take her out for a day of eating out, movie going (Today I think it will be "The Devil Wears Prada") and venting. I love to be a shoulder for her. I can't imagine her struggles.
Toodles!
Clown always plugs his nose when he jumps into water. He hates to get water up his nose. I keep telling him to just breathe out as he jumps, but he prefers this way. I thought this was so cute!
Princess jumping in
Jock had a great time.
JT asked me to get some shots of him doing some flips, etc. They turned out pretty cool!
It is very strange to me to see these pictures of JT as grown up as he is. I met his family when he was two years old! I taught his Sunday School class!
I will show a photo of he and his sisters and all of our kids from 2002. Which reminds me that my friend Jude would like to see photos from the changes we are making around the house.
As you can see from this photo, the walls were a bubble gum blue. There was icky berber carpet (nothing against berber, but our kids trashed it in the six years we have lived in this house) and blinds on the windows.
We have since put in Brazilian cherry hardwoods, painted the walls, bought some framed things for the walls, new light fixtures, bought new furniture (well, it is not paid for yet. We were bad and financed, but I couldn't take it any more!) and got some curtains. I will try to find a photo of that same area of the room, that is more recent...
Ok, this is from this past February, when Brain had his surgery. This was the day he got home from the hospital. This is the same wall. That tree in the right hand corner, is where the Christmas tree was in the 2002 photo.
I will do some more on another day. We have re-done Jock and Clown's room (unfortunately, even though this is a five bedroom house, those two have to share. Stud needs one of the bedrooms for his office) and are going to re-paint Princess's and the Master bedroom. We are ordering new carpet for the Master bedroom and the stair way next week and last month we repainted in the stairway and entry to the house. I will go through some photos and show you some of those also, Jude. I am sure some other readers may be interested in seeing some of that!
Stay tuned. Later on, I will discuss something I was pondering yesterday. It is how different our kids all show their affection to others. Fascinating. Don't miss it! teehee
Right now, I am off to pick up a friend of mine for some much needed girly time. She is a single mother who is really struggling. I sometimes take her out for a day of eating out, movie going (Today I think it will be "The Devil Wears Prada") and venting. I love to be a shoulder for her. I can't imagine her struggles.
Toodles!
Friday, July 07, 2006
Spokane Trip Photos
Ok, I will try to keep the babbling down to a minimum with this post. Just wanted to share some photos of kids frolicking last weekend. I took many photos and had a tough time narrowing it down to share with all of you. I tend to over do it in this area.
First, Clown picked raspberries. Then we convinced Princess to try them with Cool Whip. She normally hates whipped cream of any kind, but she discovered that she loves Cool Whip with fresh raspberries!
Then, it was time to cool off in the neighbour's pool. Clown could not remember how to do a back float, so Brain worked with him a bit to remind him.
JT dove through this toy...
...and got stuck!
Big sister A tries to help.
A and Princess love each other. There is actually a kind of amusing story here. One time during Princess's stay, A was supervising she and J (A and JT's 9 year old sister) in the pool. Princess wanted to jump off the diving board and have A catch her. So they got it all figured out and Princess jumped. A got her but Princess was panicking. She was clawing at A and pushing her under! A could not get her head above water and for some reason Princess kept on pushing her under more and totally freaking out. We could laugh about it later, but it must have been scary. Princess was above water and could breathe just fine, but was so freaked that she couldn't figure out to relax for a few seconds and let A get above water for some air and them swim them both to the edge of the pool. Now that I think about it, I am not sure what finally happened. But obviously A is just fine. She lived to tell me the story!
Ok, now that made me want to add a photo of these two from almost four years ago. This was one Christmas when they came to our house. It was in 2002, so I guess Princess had just turned two and A would be almost sixteen. Not that you can see their faces all that well, but you can see how close they are. A is the big sister Princess would never have otherwise.
Ok, back on track:)
Alright, we were not back on track for long. I have been distracted by cheese. Princess came over here with a cheese sandwich, asking if she had eaten enough for dessert. Now I want some cheese!
I will do the rest of the photos (there are only 4 or 5 left) later on this weekend.
A person needs to have priorities, you know???
First, Clown picked raspberries. Then we convinced Princess to try them with Cool Whip. She normally hates whipped cream of any kind, but she discovered that she loves Cool Whip with fresh raspberries!
Then, it was time to cool off in the neighbour's pool. Clown could not remember how to do a back float, so Brain worked with him a bit to remind him.
JT dove through this toy...
...and got stuck!
Big sister A tries to help.
A and Princess love each other. There is actually a kind of amusing story here. One time during Princess's stay, A was supervising she and J (A and JT's 9 year old sister) in the pool. Princess wanted to jump off the diving board and have A catch her. So they got it all figured out and Princess jumped. A got her but Princess was panicking. She was clawing at A and pushing her under! A could not get her head above water and for some reason Princess kept on pushing her under more and totally freaking out. We could laugh about it later, but it must have been scary. Princess was above water and could breathe just fine, but was so freaked that she couldn't figure out to relax for a few seconds and let A get above water for some air and them swim them both to the edge of the pool. Now that I think about it, I am not sure what finally happened. But obviously A is just fine. She lived to tell me the story!
Ok, now that made me want to add a photo of these two from almost four years ago. This was one Christmas when they came to our house. It was in 2002, so I guess Princess had just turned two and A would be almost sixteen. Not that you can see their faces all that well, but you can see how close they are. A is the big sister Princess would never have otherwise.
Ok, back on track:)
Alright, we were not back on track for long. I have been distracted by cheese. Princess came over here with a cheese sandwich, asking if she had eaten enough for dessert. Now I want some cheese!
I will do the rest of the photos (there are only 4 or 5 left) later on this weekend.
A person needs to have priorities, you know???
Girly time
Yesterday I surprised Princess by taking her for a Pedicure.
First time I had one was about 4 years ago. A wonderful friend got me a gift certificate to the Gene Juarez Salon for my birthday. I had never done anything so self-indulgent in my life and it took me almost a year to use the certificate. Couldn't bring myself to do something like that.
Once I tried it, I was hooked. I LOVE people to get all the dead crusty skin off of my heels and rub lotions and oils all over:) Trim the nails and paint them all pretty. Never took myself for such a person. Growing up pretty tom-boyish and all.
Two years ago a friend flew her family up here from NC for a ten day visit. We went to high school together and she also met her husband on the internet. He grew up in NC and they have stayed there.
So when they came up, she and I thought it would be fun to take our daughters for pedicures with us. She has two who were, at the time, aged eleven and almost five. Princess was only three. And I never should have done it.
Now she begs all the time. Every few weeks, she thinks she needs another pedicure. I keep on explaining that I survived until I was more than thirty years old with never having experienced it. I am thinking of making it maybe a yearly thing, around her birthday we go treat her with one.
Stud got me a gift certificate for one for Mother's Day that I have been wanting to use. I also really wanted some girly time alone with Princess. Things have been so nuts around here, so I wanted to take her with me. She is like Brain in the way that she will sit in front of movies of TV all day if you let her.
When I told all the kids I was going to buy the tickets for the midnight showing of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie Brain, Jock and I were going to, she announced that she was staying home. So she was coming to ask me if I could put a movie in the DVD player for her, when I whispered, "I was going to try and surprise you with a pedicure." She gasped and yelled, "Let me just go get some clothes on and I will be ready!!!" I have never seen a person run up a flight of stairs that fast:)
So I told her that she could choose the colour of polish and we could match. She was tickled with that. She adores pink and I was a bit worried I would have pink nails for the duration of the summer. To my shock, she chose a glorious dark sparkly purple. Purple is MY favourite colour! teehee
Behold:
As you can see, I have guy's feet. Complete with stubble (guys would have hair, I have stubble since I shave, wax etc in a vain attempt to get the hair OFF) and they are extremely wide. More so since being pregnant with all these guys, but always were. Any time I get in a weird feminine mood and try to shop for pretty girly sandals or shoes, I remember why I don't own any. Those things look HORRIBLE in pretty strappy shoes. Teehee
So I need to go and clean the house but will be back later with photos of the kids swimming in Spokane last weekend. I went to bed after 3 this morning, since the movie got out right around 3 am. I was surprised that there were people going into a 3:30 am showing. I won't ruin it for any of you Pirates fans!
First time I had one was about 4 years ago. A wonderful friend got me a gift certificate to the Gene Juarez Salon for my birthday. I had never done anything so self-indulgent in my life and it took me almost a year to use the certificate. Couldn't bring myself to do something like that.
Once I tried it, I was hooked. I LOVE people to get all the dead crusty skin off of my heels and rub lotions and oils all over:) Trim the nails and paint them all pretty. Never took myself for such a person. Growing up pretty tom-boyish and all.
Two years ago a friend flew her family up here from NC for a ten day visit. We went to high school together and she also met her husband on the internet. He grew up in NC and they have stayed there.
So when they came up, she and I thought it would be fun to take our daughters for pedicures with us. She has two who were, at the time, aged eleven and almost five. Princess was only three. And I never should have done it.
Now she begs all the time. Every few weeks, she thinks she needs another pedicure. I keep on explaining that I survived until I was more than thirty years old with never having experienced it. I am thinking of making it maybe a yearly thing, around her birthday we go treat her with one.
Stud got me a gift certificate for one for Mother's Day that I have been wanting to use. I also really wanted some girly time alone with Princess. Things have been so nuts around here, so I wanted to take her with me. She is like Brain in the way that she will sit in front of movies of TV all day if you let her.
When I told all the kids I was going to buy the tickets for the midnight showing of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie Brain, Jock and I were going to, she announced that she was staying home. So she was coming to ask me if I could put a movie in the DVD player for her, when I whispered, "I was going to try and surprise you with a pedicure." She gasped and yelled, "Let me just go get some clothes on and I will be ready!!!" I have never seen a person run up a flight of stairs that fast:)
So I told her that she could choose the colour of polish and we could match. She was tickled with that. She adores pink and I was a bit worried I would have pink nails for the duration of the summer. To my shock, she chose a glorious dark sparkly purple. Purple is MY favourite colour! teehee
Behold:
As you can see, I have guy's feet. Complete with stubble (guys would have hair, I have stubble since I shave, wax etc in a vain attempt to get the hair OFF) and they are extremely wide. More so since being pregnant with all these guys, but always were. Any time I get in a weird feminine mood and try to shop for pretty girly sandals or shoes, I remember why I don't own any. Those things look HORRIBLE in pretty strappy shoes. Teehee
So I need to go and clean the house but will be back later with photos of the kids swimming in Spokane last weekend. I went to bed after 3 this morning, since the movie got out right around 3 am. I was surprised that there were people going into a 3:30 am showing. I won't ruin it for any of you Pirates fans!
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
July 4th
Today is just like any other ordinary day for me. Only difference is that Stud is home from work and the three younger kids are all nuts and psyched about lighting fire crackers and all that stuff.
So before Brain and I leave to go to the movies (It was his suggestion that we take in "Nacho Libre" this afternoon as a means of getting a break from all the yelling and screaming about lighting things tonight) I thought I would update you all on my trip home.
My new nephew is DARLING. I LOVE the little noises and faces and the smell of brand new babies. Unfortunately for young Mr. J, he looks like ME of all people:) LOL Various people commented on that and a friend of mine wrote to my brother to send her condolences and remind him that I have always looked like a guy, so that is ok that his son looks like me:) teehee
Since my brother and I look so much alike, it makes sense. New babies change by the hour and we saw flashes of various people. My mother saw Jock a few times, and R (baby's Dad, if you forgot) saw glimpses of our brother S. I don't care who he ends up looking like, of course I just want him to have a great life. And with those parents he has, he is guaranteed a stupendous one!
You would have thought this was my SIL's third or fourth child, the way she took to nursing him and caring for him. My brother is awesome of course and spent much of his time making phone calls, (he has to set up medical appointments for the baby, getting his birth certificate things done, etc etc) running errands and bringing treats for my SIL and myself. The man is an absolute sweetheart. Every time he left the house, he came back with goodies. He knows my fave Canadian treats that I crave, and would surprise me with them. He even bought his wife and I matching Italian charms for our bracelets. They got me one of those bracelets a few years back. He said to me, "You always wanted a sister, and I know girls like junk like that."
He and I cried together here and there, just tears of happiness and lack of sleep:) It was a very emotional time. He was alone for so many years, hoping for a wife. After years of prayer, we feel that God brought him the perfect one. He takes such great care of her and caters to her every need and desire. Always has, before the baby was ever in the picture. In fact his MIL saw him in the grocery store getting all the things from the list her daughter had made for him. She called my SIL and was raving about my brother and how great he is and how she would give him a hug next time she came over. She is thankful he is so good to her daughter.
I so wish I could share photos, but alas. My brother won't allow it. I may ask him if I can post some that he took of the baby's wee feet sticking out from under his mother's arm as she fed him.
My brother said that I should go to the hospital and volunteer to hold babies or somehow seek a career with newborns. I have always adored babies and loved caring for all of my foster brothers and sisters. If the dern things didn't grow up and start lipping off and fighting with each other, I would have 8 or 9 by now! LOL
I know people who can't wait for their kids to get out of the newborn stage. I am the complete opposite. I think my parents must be too, since they are in their 60's and still take in new borns as foster children. They have two right now, and take turns getting up in the night with them. Must be in the blood. My brothers have all always loved to hold babies and care for them also. All babies take to my Dad immediately and LOVE him. Jock was smiling and cooing at my Dad at 2 weeks of age! He has something that just mesmerizes babies, I think it is the way he is so calm and quiet and talks with them so cute for long periods of time.
Anywho, there you are. It was a quick trip, and I only got out to the mall and Dr's office one day for Mr. J's first appointment. Which is how I like it, I am a home-body anyway. The rest of the time was spent trying to help my SIL and caring for baby while his parents tried to sleep. Ah...I wish I was up there with them again. My brother said they were grateful for the help, but also glad that I got break and a holiday from all the chaos here. I was glad Stud was able to work from home and he had a great time with all the boys, since Princess was not here.
Have a great 4th all of you who enjoy it. And all you Canadians, have a great Tuesday:)
So before Brain and I leave to go to the movies (It was his suggestion that we take in "Nacho Libre" this afternoon as a means of getting a break from all the yelling and screaming about lighting things tonight) I thought I would update you all on my trip home.
My new nephew is DARLING. I LOVE the little noises and faces and the smell of brand new babies. Unfortunately for young Mr. J, he looks like ME of all people:) LOL Various people commented on that and a friend of mine wrote to my brother to send her condolences and remind him that I have always looked like a guy, so that is ok that his son looks like me:) teehee
Since my brother and I look so much alike, it makes sense. New babies change by the hour and we saw flashes of various people. My mother saw Jock a few times, and R (baby's Dad, if you forgot) saw glimpses of our brother S. I don't care who he ends up looking like, of course I just want him to have a great life. And with those parents he has, he is guaranteed a stupendous one!
You would have thought this was my SIL's third or fourth child, the way she took to nursing him and caring for him. My brother is awesome of course and spent much of his time making phone calls, (he has to set up medical appointments for the baby, getting his birth certificate things done, etc etc) running errands and bringing treats for my SIL and myself. The man is an absolute sweetheart. Every time he left the house, he came back with goodies. He knows my fave Canadian treats that I crave, and would surprise me with them. He even bought his wife and I matching Italian charms for our bracelets. They got me one of those bracelets a few years back. He said to me, "You always wanted a sister, and I know girls like junk like that."
He and I cried together here and there, just tears of happiness and lack of sleep:) It was a very emotional time. He was alone for so many years, hoping for a wife. After years of prayer, we feel that God brought him the perfect one. He takes such great care of her and caters to her every need and desire. Always has, before the baby was ever in the picture. In fact his MIL saw him in the grocery store getting all the things from the list her daughter had made for him. She called my SIL and was raving about my brother and how great he is and how she would give him a hug next time she came over. She is thankful he is so good to her daughter.
I so wish I could share photos, but alas. My brother won't allow it. I may ask him if I can post some that he took of the baby's wee feet sticking out from under his mother's arm as she fed him.
My brother said that I should go to the hospital and volunteer to hold babies or somehow seek a career with newborns. I have always adored babies and loved caring for all of my foster brothers and sisters. If the dern things didn't grow up and start lipping off and fighting with each other, I would have 8 or 9 by now! LOL
I know people who can't wait for their kids to get out of the newborn stage. I am the complete opposite. I think my parents must be too, since they are in their 60's and still take in new borns as foster children. They have two right now, and take turns getting up in the night with them. Must be in the blood. My brothers have all always loved to hold babies and care for them also. All babies take to my Dad immediately and LOVE him. Jock was smiling and cooing at my Dad at 2 weeks of age! He has something that just mesmerizes babies, I think it is the way he is so calm and quiet and talks with them so cute for long periods of time.
Anywho, there you are. It was a quick trip, and I only got out to the mall and Dr's office one day for Mr. J's first appointment. Which is how I like it, I am a home-body anyway. The rest of the time was spent trying to help my SIL and caring for baby while his parents tried to sleep. Ah...I wish I was up there with them again. My brother said they were grateful for the help, but also glad that I got break and a holiday from all the chaos here. I was glad Stud was able to work from home and he had a great time with all the boys, since Princess was not here.
Have a great 4th all of you who enjoy it. And all you Canadians, have a great Tuesday:)
Monday, July 03, 2006
Clown said to Princess...
We went and got Princess this weekend. Photos from that trip to follow. The kids had a blast swimming in our friend's neighbour's pool in Spokane.
I just got back from buying Clown some "wife beater" shirts. You know those white tank tops to keep them cool for summer. I got Jock some a few weeks ago and Clown wanted some that fit him.
He ripped the package open and asked if I had to wash them first. I normally wash all new clothes before anyone wears them. I said it was fine, I knew he was excited. So he put one on and sauntered over to Princess. Then he said, "Hey Princess, see how these cover up my nipples?? My nipples don't show. Well, when I am an old man I will have to wear pants that go all the way up to my nipples." She mumbled something at him and he nodded and said all matter-of-fact, "Mmmmm-hmmmmm...sweat pants. All the way up here." and motioned to his chest area.
I just got back from buying Clown some "wife beater" shirts. You know those white tank tops to keep them cool for summer. I got Jock some a few weeks ago and Clown wanted some that fit him.
He ripped the package open and asked if I had to wash them first. I normally wash all new clothes before anyone wears them. I said it was fine, I knew he was excited. So he put one on and sauntered over to Princess. Then he said, "Hey Princess, see how these cover up my nipples?? My nipples don't show. Well, when I am an old man I will have to wear pants that go all the way up to my nipples." She mumbled something at him and he nodded and said all matter-of-fact, "Mmmmm-hmmmmm...sweat pants. All the way up here." and motioned to his chest area.
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